Highlights

The Usual Suspects Take Control Of World Cup Qualifying In Asia

Matchday seven has passed in Asian 2018 FIFA World Cup qualification, and the usual suspects have emerged as favorites to gain passage to Russia. Iran and South Korea control their own destinies in securing Group A’s automatic qualification spots, while Japan, Saudi Arabia and Australia are vying for the top two positions in Group B.

The only real surprise is Uzbekistan’s standing of third in Group A, meaning that a country that’s never been to a World Cup before is on course for the playoff against Group B’s third place side.

Cristiano Ronaldo Joins Elite International Group With Pioneering Free Kick

Cristiano Ronaldo hit his 69th and 70th international goals for Portugal on Saturday to join an elite club of players to have reached such a milestone. At 32, you wouldn’t put it past Ronaldo to some day eclipse Ferenc Puskas’ European record total of 84 international goals.

Both of his goals were extremely well taken against Hungary, but it was the historic 70th that both celebrated his unique skill and outlined his vast contribution to the sport of football. 

Scunthorpe Defeat Bradford City Thanks To The Greatest Block You’ll Ever See

A goal-saving block is a great thing. To make that block while lying on the ground and perfectly timing an overhead kick to put a goal-bound header out of play is sensational. To do all that in stoppage time while your side is leading 3-2 and pushing for promotion to the English Championship, well, that’s just absurd. 

But that’s exactly what Scunthorpe defender Murray Wallace managed to achieve for his side against Bradford City today, earning them a vital three points in their push for promotion.

Watch Wilfried Zaha Cut Up Russia Like The End Of The Cold War

Russia played the Ivory Coast in a friendly Friday, but there was nothing friendly about what Wilfried Zaha did to the 2018 World Cup hosts.

The Phenom Of US Soccer, Christian Pulisic, Assists The Godfather, Clint Dempsey

So far, so good on the return of Bruce Arena as manager of the USMNT. Sebastian Lletget scored a tap-in after Honduran goalkeeper Donis Escober saved Christian Pulisic’s shot, Michael Bradley scored a brilliant solo goal from distance and then Pulisic provided a wonderfully linked assist to Clint Dempsey, the Texan returning to international duty after missing the opening two games of the Hex with an irregular heartbeat.

Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez Equals Mexico’s All-Time Scoring Record

Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez equalled Jared Borgetti’s all-time goalscoring record for Mexico by scoring his 46th goal in his 89th match. Coincidentally, that’s the exact same record as Borgetti.

Francesco Totti Hits A Volley So Hard That It Would’ve Destroyed Carthage

Francisco Totti’s thunderous training volley put an end to the Third Punic War today. The volley cracked off his boot and resulted in a breaching of the Carthaginian's walls and the sacking of the city. When this firecracker smote the back of the net, Carthage was systematically burned for 17 days, utterly destroying all remnants of the 700-year-old empire.

Uruguay Undone By Paulinho, Of All People

Paulinho. Really. I am not making this up.

The Guangzhou Evergrande man scored three times to see Brazil over Uruguay, 4-1.

Darlington Nagbe Drops An Assist So Absurd That People Are Questioning Its Intent

The Portland Timbers made it three wins from three matches to begin their 2017 MLS season, and Darlington Nagbe capped a superb week with an assist so good that your first instinct is to doubt its intention.

Nagbe was recalled to the USMNT last week for their upcoming World Cup qualifiers, and the midfielder’s creativity was on full display in Portland’s 4-2 victory over Houston on Saturday.

Nagbe was frequently overlooked by Jurgen Klinsmann, but his ridiculous assist for David Guzman’s goal should tell you everything you need to know about his quality. 

Caen Fans Give Monaco’s Kylian Mbappe A Standing Ovation After He Tears Them Apart

Fresh off of eliminating Manchester City in the Champions League round of 16, AS Monaco travelled to Caen for a Ligue 1 match on Sunday. The people of Caen began the match by applauding their achievement, and they ended it by giving 18-year-old striker Kylian Mbappe a resounding standing ovation.

As cliche as the label of “the next Thierry Henry” is, Mbappe appears to be just that. After breaking Henry’s records for the youngest-ever senior debutant and youngest goalscorer in Monaco’s history last season, he’s quickly become one of the most feared strikers in the world.

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