Highlights

Jamie Vardy’s dismissal on Saturday for his lunge on Mame Biram Diouf was predicated on everything but the tackle itself. Having lost the ball to Glen Johnson in the buildup, that particular spirit that invokes images of Skittles Vodka and murmurs of “Chat Shit Get Banged” could be felt through televisions around the globe: Vardy, looking like Pokemon’s Rattata with Red Bull coursing through his mouse veins, was probably about to do something he’d regret.

The Merseyside derby was today. It had everything you'd expect from such an occasion: tackles, fouls, more fouls, lots of fouls, all the fouls, every foul, grabbing, holding, kicking, Ross Barkley doing something extremely stupid, Jordan Henderson stomping around with his chest puffed like a guy who's had a few too many and thinks everyone is looking at his girlfriend, more fouls and exactly one goal.

But what a goal.

Kevin De Bruyne registered his ninth assist in 16 Premier League matches by smashing a no-look, cross-field volley straight at Raheem Sterling, allowing the Englishman to beat Petr Cech at his near post for Manchester City’s go-ahead goal on Sunday.

Raheem Sterling comes up clutch! #PLonNBC pic.twitter.com/JmCcac2X57

We are going to show you some videos and then at the end we are going to say some things about Lionel Messi.

Look what he did to poor Espanyol in the Catalan derby:

A meeting between two clubs sitting side-by-side in the Premier League table turned out to be a thoroughly one-sided affair, Manchester United traveling to the Hawthorns to play West Bromwich Albion and comfortably winning 2-0.

The gap between the top six sides in England and the rest of the division appears to be pretty large on the evidence of Saturday’s match between the Red Devils and the Baggies. United are now unbeaten in eight consecutive EPL matches, and they’ve drawn level, at least momentarily, with Tottenham, who have a game in hand.

It’s been a difficult debut season in the Bundesliga for USMNT striker Bobby Wood. His team, Hamburger SV, are the only club to have played in every season of the Bundesliga since its foundation, but they’ve spent the entire season mired at the bottom of the table.

With only 10 points from 15 matches, Hamburger’s struggles have been mirrored in Wood’s play. The American hadn’t scored since September 10, but he finally scored his third goal of the season against Mainz on Saturday.

It hasn’t taken much, but Jonathan dos Santos has matched his career best for goals in a season. In 66 previous La Liga appearances, Dos Santos had managed a total of two goals, both during his debut season with Villarreal in 2014-15, but he’s already scored twice in only 14 appearances for the Yellow Submarine this campaign.

Crystal Dunn, Tobin Heath, Carli Lloyd, Alex Morgan, and Becky Sauerbrunn were all nominees for 2016 Female Player of the Year. Tobin Heath beat out all of her USWNT teammates and took home the title.

Chelsea defeated Sunderland 1-0 on Wednesday to open an early six-point gap on nearest rivals Arsenal and Liverpool. The goal was scored by Cesc Fabregas, a player who suddenly looks very much like the footballer that led Chelsea to the 2014-15 Premier League title by forming an excellent understanding with Diego Costa.