A world without football is a world gone mad. That's the exact case with Layvin Kurzawa as he's clearly lost his mind after posting the most horrifying TikTok video I've seen in some time. I pray the Kurzawa TikTok saga doesn’t last too long.
With no football being played, Real Madrid’s social media team decided now is the best time to show another video of what the club’s renovated stadium will look like. It feels like the Santiago Bernabéu renovations have been going on forever and it still reminds me of a massive George Foreman grill.
Coming out of the COVID-19 pandemic, one of my greatest hopes is that the collective joy at the beautiful game’s return forever silences the mind-numbingly pedantic “football vs. soccer” argument.
As an American media company, it’s inevitable that any piece of content we produce that takes off beyond these shores will eventually have the following top comment: “It’s football, not soccer.”
During the break from football we saw Lionel Messi's cute son Ciro help him lift weights. Now, Cristiano Ronaldo is stepping it up a notch and using his own children as the weights. Watch as Ronaldo lifts his children and pray he doesn’t drop them.
Who needs fancy training equipment when you have family?
Hey all you cool cats and kittens, Tiger King has been the talk of quarantine — it's so cringeworthy that you can’t stop watching. It's a Netflix documentary that was supposed to expose the exotic animal trade and cruel treatment, but it had way more than just cat talk. From relationships to feuds and crime to exotic animals, Tiger King has it all.
If, for some odd reason, the cast had to be put into a football match, here's who I would name to my starting XI:
Australian striker Archie Thompson holds the record for the most goals in a single official international match when he put 13 past American Samoa on April 11, 2001. It was a brutal game for American Samoa as the game finished 31-0. That score line is a blowout even in American football.
This blowout was a prime example of why Australia changed federations in 2006 from the Oceania Football Confederation to the Asian Football Confederation.
Dear Football,
It has been nearly a month now since you left me. It felt like we were together for as long as I can remember, but suddenly you are no longer a part of my life. I write this letter to football to remind myself of all the fun times we had when we were united.
I think about you often. I remember waking up at god-awful-times in the morning just to see you. Now when I wake from my slumber on weekends I arise to an empty void without your presence. Our Tuesday and Wednesday afternoon Champions League rendezvous is a thing of the past.
Words can’t describe how I feel about the Belarusian Premier League. Trying to play through a pandemic is one thing but putting fake fans in the stadium to boost the atmosphere is a whole new low. FC Dynamo Brest does get some creativity points for how the club carried it out, but the Belarus mannequin situation is also pretty creepy.
Our fans from all over the world seem to be happy! Thanks for your support, guys! pic.twitter.com/wX4dCLDtUH
On the final day of 2019, The18 made the prediction that the new cringeworthy-yet-lovable social media app TikTok would be the future of soccer content. Somehow that is becoming the truth as with no sports being played soccer lovers are forced to find new ways to get their fix. If you’re new to TikTok and looking for content, here are the best TikTok soccer accounts to follow.
If you’re like me, this past month has been so goddamn awful for your fitness that you can only refuse to acknowledge anything. Without rec soccer and the gym, I’m half-man, half-beer.
A few days ago I forced myself out on a run after being deeply troubled by an inner voice saying my time for running was now over — everything was just too exceedingly difficult to even contemplate doing, so don’t do it. That’s my mind without exercise. It’s a real bastard.