Humor

It pains me to say that my screenplay for a soccer-focused Disney Channel original film — “The Luck of the Irish II: Roy Keane’s Revenge” — has been overlooked in favor of Back of the Net, but that’s life. It’s still satisfying to know we’ve got a soccer movie coming to the Disney Channel.

On Saturday, June 15 at 8:00 pm, Back of the Net will debut on Disney Channel and DisneyNOW. Here’s the synopsis, which is everything you’d expect from an absolute classic: 

Neymar has once again shown that he has just as much flair off the pitch as he does on it.

The PSG striker arrived in style to the Brazilian national team training session this week in a custom Mercedes-Benz Airbus H-145 helicopter worth over $14 million.

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In the upcoming July issue of FourFourTwo, Argentine legend and current Dorados manager Diego Maradona provides us with a fascinating thought: “If Manchester United need a coach, I’m the man to do it,” he says. “I know they sell lots of shirts around the world, but they need to win trophies, too. I can do that for them.”

The Seattle Sounders scored three goals in their match against Dallas, but two of them were in their own net, proving you don't always have to score goals to win games.

Seattle traveled to Dallas wanting to bounce back after a tough 3-2 loss against Sporting Kansas City the week before. To their credit, they scored three goals during the 90 minutes! But two of those goals ended up in their own net. The scoreline ended 2-1 in Dallas' favor.

Being a referee is a thankless, difficult job. No matter how well referees officiate a match, they will almost always be scorned by players and fans of both sides. But being a Croatian referee? That’s not so bad, apparently.

During a recent lower-league playoff semifinal match between Petrovije and Momjan 1947, a referee was seen lighting up cigarettes and drinking beer at halftime.

If there’s a better way to deal with divas who complain about every little call, I’d like to see it.

The Europa League’s leading scorer did it again on Wednesday with his most clutch goal of the season, the one that opened the scoring against Arsenal in the 2019 Europa League Final. 

Former Gunner striker Olivier Giroud headed the ball beyond former Chelsea goalkeeper Petr Čech for a poetic start to the final.

Have you ever seen Key & Peele’s “Fútbol Flop” sketch? Well, an actual match in the actual country of Argentina has made that look like an interpretive dance of the FIFA Fair Play Award. 

Here’s 25 seconds of action from Argentina’s Primera B Nacional — it’s a promotion playoff semifinal between Club Almagro and Central Córdoba. 

By my count, there’s at least seven instances (maybe more?) of shithousery here, climaxing in an Almagro player attempting to get the referee sent off.  

Jose Mourinho and Arsene Wenger, once longtime rivals, have now become fellow pundits. Mourinho has recently taken to television for beIN Sports after being released by Manchester United, and Arsene Wenger has done the same after finishing his long career with Arsenal. Their story as rivals with Chelsea and Arsenal, respectively, have been very popular among the media and fans.

After winning MLS Cup in its second season as a club, Atlanta United struggled following the departure of manager Tata Martino.

They were thoroughly outplayed by Monterrey in the CONCACAF Champions League quarterfinals, won one out of their first six matches of the 2019 MLS season and couldn't muster anything going forward. Martino's replacement, 49-year-old Dutchman Frank de Boer, became the scapegoat for Atlanta fans.

And out of the frustration and anger rising from the state of Georgia, the #deBoerOut Twitter account was born.