Humor

Arsenal took care of business in their Carabao (which we are pronouncing CaraBOW with extra emphasis on the BOW) Cup clash against Doncaster Rovers. Theo Walcott scored. Alexis dribbled a lot. Olivier Giroud tried two overhead kicks. Arsenal saved two goals in situations that involved beleaguered Arsenal defenders making horrible mistakes but being so much faster than the Doncaster forwards it didn't matter. Jack Wilshere played.

So, nothing to worry about, really. Survive and advance.

Y'all, this is a funeral. We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Schalke defender Thilo Kehrer, tragically taken from us too soon at the tender age of 20. He made those few years count, though, fulfilling his dream to become a professional soccer player.

Death comes for us all eventually, and God and Kingsley Coman decided yesterday that Kehrer's time has come. It is not my place to question the decisions of the almighty, his divine grace has a plan for us all, and when our time us up it is up.

Liverpool let in two goals today against Leicester that could have been prevented: a second ball off a corner for the first and a second ball off a throw-in for the second. This has been a habit all season. 

Here's a video illustration:

i just laughed for 15 minutes straight pic.twitter.com/zAMgWglksE

— madison meyers (@madmeyers) September 17, 2017

A dog running on the field is pretty much the best event possible in a soccer match. It's fun, and you don't have to be stressed about the outcome of the game for a little bit. You can just be like "hey there's a good dog" and revel in the dog's goodness until someone herds it off the field.

A match in Argentina was interrupted by a particularly lively dog that ran around and chased the ball while even the players looked on, pleasantly entertained.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.

Rio Ferdinand, yes that Rio Ferdinand, the 38-year-old former Manchester United center back and current television presenter, is reportedly going to announce his intention to become a professional boxer. Ferdinand has been a boxing fan for a long time, so it makes sense for him to want to see what it's really like in the ring, provided he's in good enough shape.

In the digital media industry, search engine optimization is very important. If people are better able to find your content when searching search engines, the better your content, and by extension your organization, is going to perform. You are still going to get laid off when your company pivots to video, but still.

There is a tool online that lets you see what questions folks are searching for based on keywords you can specify. As a soccer website, we, obviously, plugged in "soccer" to see what would happen.

In Thursday's Wenger Watch European special, we ended with "Arsenal play Chelsea on Sunday, which means the Wenger-O-Meter will be in a much sillier position next week. Unless they tie."

Well, guess what happened? They tied! 0-0!

Therefore, true to the Wenger Watch's word, we are keeping the Wenger-O-Meter in the exact same position we had it in on Thursday, which, as you may recall, was in the MIDDLE. Neither IN nor OUT. SCHRODINGER'S FRENCHMAN.