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Chicharito Update: He Tore A Muscle In His Butt

Chicharito limped out of Bayer Leverkusen's DFB Pokal loss to Werder Bremen, and now we have an update.

Messi Has Kidney Problems Oh God No Please Don't Be Bad

The AP reported that Lionel Messi is set to undergo medical tests related to a kidney problem he suffered in December that seems to have recurred. Naturally, we as a soccer website are handling this news with the trademark reserve and calm of the worldwide soccer community. We are not panicking at all.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic Continues To Be Our Favorite Person

Do not sit in front of Zlatan Ibrahimovic on the Paris Saint-Germain bench. He will put a shoe on your head.

Seriously, he will. We're not making that up. He'll do it. We've seen him do it.

Want proof? Here's proof:

Zlatan Ibrahimovic Puts A Shoe On Someone's Head

Messi Scored His 500th Goal Yesterday

We don't know if anyone noticed this, but Lionel Messi is pretty good at soccer. He scored a hat trick in Barcelona's 7-0 demolition of Gary Neville's Valencia side Wednesday. 

Oh God Don't Do 'Em Like That Messi

Lionel Messi And Cristiano Ronaldo Have Combined To Score 1,000 Goals

Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo have dominated the game for so long we can barely remember who dominated the game before them. A statistic that really puts this feeling into perspective is this: Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo now have 1,000 goals combined in their careers.

Goal number 1,000 came via La Pulga Saturday againt Atletico Madrid.

A Referee Stopped A Game To Get Ronaldinho's Autograph

Everybody loves Ronaldinho, and everybody especially loves him on Ecuador.

Ecuadorian team Barcelona (no we are not making that name up) brought Dinho in to be the guest of honor at their big season kickoff celebration thingy, and the person who loved the former Barcelona (the Spain version) man the most there might have been the referee.

Pope Francis Uses Soccer To Appeal For Peace

If you watched the Milan derby this past weekend, you may have seen this olive tree ceremony before the game.

Pope Francis

The Milan derby was the latest game to see the ceremony take place. Photo: @waatp | Twitter

Ronaldinho Said Roberto Firmino Is As Good As Andres Iniesta

Ronaldinho is one of the best attacking midfielders of the modern era, up there with Kaka, Zinedine Zidane, Andres Iniesta, Pavel Nedved and others. That's exceptional company to be in, and he has now anointed a player he believes will join that group: fellow Brazilian and Liverpool man Roberto Firmino.

From The Mirror:

"I didn't ever question if he would be a great player for Liverpool, I knew that he would be," said the World Cup winner.

The Most heartwarming Story Of The Year Just Got Even Heartwarming-er

Remember this kid? The one with the heart-wrenching Messi jersey made out of a plastic bag? Well, now that your heart has been wrenched, prepare for it to be warmed.

Lots of people have been working to find this kid. After a hiccup or two, it looks like they've found him. And now a meeting with Lionel Messi himself is in the works.

The little boy's name is Murtaza Ahmadi. He's five years old and lived in a small village in Afghanistan.

Chicharito Picked Up Right Where He Left Off

Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez continues to surprise. The CONCACAF 2015 Player of the Year continues to shine in Europe, scoring a brace for Bayer Leverkusen in the Bundesliga against Hannover Saturday.

The former super-sub turned super-starter at the German club is in great form, scoring his 13th goal in the league out of 16 appearances, demonstrating his importance to the German club and highlighting the reason why big clubs are looking to sign him during the winter transfer window. 

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