Opinion

Poetic Injustice: The Greatest Goals That Never Were

It doesn’t count on the scoresheet, but there’s something entirely satisfying about seeing an absolute crack smash off the woodwork. As humans, we like loud noises, and nothing makes us ooh and aah more than football’s own version of fireworks — the ball crashing into the crossbar from distance and flying into the heavens. 

Apart from that spectacle, great goals can be denied for a myriad of other reasons: sometimes it’s the referee, sometimes it’s a curmudgeonly defender or goalkeeper and sometimes it’s that idiot Nani.

5 Clubs That Shook Up European Football This Season

The 2016-17 European club season brought many surprises. There were several teams that nobody expected much from, but they managed to prove us all wrong by either winning a title, qualifying for European competition or doing something notable in the Champions League. Let’s take a look at five clubs that provided a bit of magic this season.

Who Impressed And Who Failed Miserably In Serie A This Season?

This week, most people will be reading, talking and writing about Francesco Totti, who has now retired after playing his final game for Roma. But while everyone’s focused on Totti, let’s consider the rest of the season, indulging in one of the favorite pastimes of the calcio connoisseur: going over every detail of the previous 38 matches and putting people and teams in ranked lists.

There will be plenty of time to dissect Totti’s career in the future. Right now, we need to think about who has really impressed us this season and (more importantly) who has failed to impress.

Let’s Kick Gingerism Out Of Football

According to the ScotlandsDNA project, only 0.6% of the world’s population has red hair. Chances are, you’ve known a few gingers in your life, and maybe you’ve even taken a moment to stop calling them Carrot Top, Mr/Ms Weasley, Chucky, Big Red, Ginger Balls and/or Strawberry Shortcake and gotten to know them as unique individuals that aren’t defined by the color of their drapes, you damn bully.

This Is What Promotion And Relegation Would Look Like In American Sports

Every season brings a new sense of hope and fear for fans across the world. For some supporters and teams, the quest to be promoted to the top flight of football is the main goal. For others, the fear of getting relegated to a lesser league looms. 

Lionel Messi vs. Marcelo: A Rivalry Of Blood, Tears And Body Feints

The comparison will always be between Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo. We’ve all accepted that, we all read endless articles about it — content to feed the beast that compares and contrasts two players that are hugely different in almost every area besides their unparalleled success and unmatched statistics.

The New York Knicks And Arsenal Share An Amazing Thirst For Failure

As I followed the fortunes of both Arsenal and the New York Knicks this season, I realized I had seen this movie before. The two organizations struggled through campaigns that mirrored each other. Fans of each team have experienced similar trauma over the past decade and the similarities became uncanny this year. 

MLS Rankings Of Power: Week Eight

What a major weekend from the major soccer league — we were treated to it all. Andrea Pirlo, whose salary of $5.9 million is 35% of NYCFC’s total payroll, was benched because Patrick Vieira cited the need to have a midfielder with an animated body, New England threw away a three-goal lead against Seattle in 15 minutes and the Philadelphia Union are already mathematically eliminated from playoff contention.

Ronaldo Could’ve Defined The No. 10 Role If He Hadn’t Been The Best No. 9 Ever

Ronaldo is synonymous with the number 9 in football. His speed, strength and finishing ability made him the most feared striker on the planet, and his effectiveness in the role is highlighted by his 15 World Cup goals.

As devastating as he was as an individual attacker, his myriad of unbelievable solo goals after charging through defenses has somewhat buried his incredible vision and ability to turn provider using either foot.

What If Soccer Was Scored Like Tony Hawk Pro Skater?

Okay, before we get started here, put this song on. It's a jam.

Okay, now you’re in the zone.

Are you tired of that one friend who ruins soccer spectating? You know the one, the person that constantly complains about a lack of scoring and sees the low accumulation of point totals as some kind of irrefutable condemnation of the sport. Yeah, that jagoff.

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