UEFA Champions League

Sergio Aguero Fractures Rib In Car Accident, Could Miss Up To 2 Months

Manchester City and Argentina striker Sergio Aguero was involved in a car accident on Thursday night in Amsterdam while riding in a taxi en route to the airport following a concert by Colombian singer Maluma.

Move Aside Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo Has A New Rival

Normally, Cristiano Ronaldo is the best at what he does. If you need proof, just consider this: CR7 has won four Ballon d’Or accolades, he's been La Liga top scorer three times and he's been the Champions League top scorer six times!

Romelu Lukaku Just Abused The Old-Man Defense Of CSKA Moscow

Romelu Lukaku is bigger than you. He’s stronger than you. He can jump higher than you. He has better touch than you. He will score on you. CSKA Moscow and their old men on defense didn’t have much of a chance against the Belgian on Wednesday. Lukaku scored a brace in Manchester United’s 4-1 romp in the Champions League. 

Team Cavani Struts Their Stuff In PSG’s 3-0 Smack Down Of Bayern Munich

First things first before we move on to lesser talking points: there was no penalty awarded to PSG on Wednesday, but Neymar and Edinson Cavani took turns on direct free kicks. They also shared moments of slightly frigid tenderness, Cavani comforting Neymar after a terrible miss and Neymar belatedly arriving to congratulate Cavani on his superbly taken goal.

Atletico Madrid And Chelsea's Inevitable Draw Interrupted By Michy Batshuayi

Atletico Madrid and Chelsea were supposed to draw. It was written in the stars. This match was predestined to end 0-0 or 1-1, with no other acceptable scores.

And it really should have ended in a draw. The match was at 1-1 with neither team looking very interesting going forward, but then Chelsea backup striker Michy Batshuayi, he who scored the goal that sealed the Premier League for Chelsea last season, spat in the face of God and preconceived #narrative and scored the winner in the 94th minute with the last kick of the game.

Just How Good Is Edin Dzeko, Exactly?

Edin Dzeko is . . . pretty good, I guess? The Roma forward is a pretty good striker in a league filled with pretty good strikers. Dzeko shares Serie A with Gonzalo Higuain, Ciro Immobile, Mauro Icardi, Dries Mertens and Andrea Belotti. That would make it hard for anybody to stand out.

But let's look a little closer at the Bosnian international. Here's a fun stat:

Timo Werner’s 32nd Minute Substitution Due To Extreme Besiktas Crowd Noise

It’s long been known that the atmosphere inside of Turkish football stadiums is otherworldly. Most commonly, the domain of Turkish stadia has been said to bear an uncanny resemblance to playing in hell for visitors. From your greeting at the airport to your sleepless night in the team hotel, you finally arrive inside a cauldron of noise like Besiktas’ Vodafone Park and encounter scenes that last from the first minute until the 90th.  

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