UEFA Champions League

There’s no fighting the feeling that the Champions League group stage has become more and more of a nonevent over the past few years. Over the course of this week’s action, we watched Chelsea hammer Qarabag 6-0, PSG pummel Celtic 5-0 and Manchester City put four unanswered past Feyenoord. Even the marquee matchup between Barcelona and Juventus had the feeling of an International Champions Cup match being played at Camping World Stadium in Orlando. 

Spartak Moscow fans are going to make the 2018 World Cup in Russia so much fun. Supporters of Narodnaya komanda (The People’s Team) traveled to Slovenia for the club’s Champions League match against NK Maribor on Wednesday and set the town on fire. Literally.

Spartak fans skirmished with police wearing riot gear before the match. 

Nobody expected a hit like that, not even the keeper but being out of position doesn't work in your favor. The beauty of the Champions League has begun.  

Cenk Tosun gol atmadı, şiir yazdı pic.twitter.com/XjTWL0XO0i

— Buko (@Homosapiens_17) September 13, 2017

In a Champions League group with Real Madrid and Tottenham, every point matters for Borussia Dortmund. Spurs torched BVB 3-1 on Wednesday in the UCL opener, Dortmund came away with an arguably more important victory: a gif win. 

Everyone knows the Champions League song, but not many folks know that it has lyrics and verses. 

These are the lyrics, which I am not making up:

They are the best teams

They are the best teams

The main event

Real Madrid have missed Cristiano Ronaldo. The groomed one hasn’t suited up for Real Madrid since August August 23rd as CR7 is serving a 5 game suspension in La Liga for pushing a referee against Barcelona in the Spanish Super Cup. Cristiano is eligible to play in the Champions League and it was only right for him to open the scoring vs APOEL.

Over on FS2, Real Madrid lead 1-0!

There’s an immediate hot take available here that I just can’t commit myself to: the departure of Neymar from Barcelona has had an uplifting effect on 33-year-old midfielder Andres Iniesta, and El Ilusionista is about to enjoy the consummate season because of a mixture of peak footballing intelligence and a proverbial unchaining on the left-hand side of Barca’s midfield.