Videos

Alexandre Pato Still Isn’t 30 (!), And He’s Still Scoring Ridiculous Goals

When’s the last time you thought about Alexandre Pato? 

Was it when you were walking your dog and he started pulling on the leash, trying to get after a cacophonous flock of ducks, and you mused: “Silly dog, you’ll never catch those patos, just like Barcelona was never going to catch Pato . . . I have a problem.” 

Modern-Day Romeo Snatches Brace, Marriage Proposal And Injury Substitution In 69 Minutes

Thankfully for Antofagasta striker Eduard Bello, what I’d imagine was a pretty heavy weight on the mind was lifted within two minutes during yesterday’s Chilean Primera Division match between his club and Everton. After opening the scoring inside 120 seconds, the Venezuelan attacker sprinted off to the stands and proposed to his girlfriend.

He also grabbed the ring from someone on the sidelines, and we’re sure his girlfriend was also grateful that he didn’t produce the symbol of wedlock from inside his pants or any bodily cavity. 

Alphonso Davies Bids Farewell To Vancouver With A Stunning Solo Goal

Alphonso Davies signed off on his Vancouver Whitecaps career with a sensational solo strike in the club’s match against the Portland Timbers on Sunday. Vancouver had already been eliminated from playoff contention and used the season finale at BC Place as a send-off to the 17-year-old, who joined the club’s residency program in 2015.

Paul Pogba’s Hilariously Bad Half-Volley Is Now The Stuff Of Legend

First things first, I did not watch Manchester United vs. Everton today — I was watching El Clásico. So I’m not in a position to say anything about Paul Pogba’s performance in the 2-1 win, and I don’t want to come off sounding like Pogba-hater-extraordinaire Graeme Souness. 

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