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We’re now well over half way into the summer transfer window here in Europe, and football’s glitterati has been busier than Emelda Marcos in a shoe sale. Clubs, players’ agents and the media have been intertwined in a menage-a-trois of ridiculousness, delivering some sensationally fictitious rumours as well as the occasional piece of business. What better time, then, for The18 to cast its judgement on the transfer window’s movers and shakers so far:
The Florentino Perez Award for Transfer Profligacy goes to….
….. Florentino Perez. Yes, we were surprised as you. Who could have predicted that Real Madrid would be this summer’s most profligate spenders so far? A humble little club based in Spain’s capital, frugally run on a shoe-string budget by one of Europe’s most prudent presidents, The18 was shocked – shocked, we tell you – when Real collectively blew $165m on James Rodriguez and Toni Kroos. Yes, Real are clearly light up-front: Ronaldo, Bale, Benzema and Di Maria only delivered 67 league goals last season between them. And yes, their central midfield talent pool is shallow, reliant as they are on unknowns such as Xabi Alonso, Luka Modric, Isco and Sami Khedira (total cost: $160m). Still, quite the turn up.
On a serious note, The18 doesn’t dispute the quality of Rodriguez and Kroos: they are both tremendous players, particularly the German. But they both inhabit positions in which Real is already lavishly stocked. Los Blancos were La Liga’s top scorers last year, but conceded 46% more goals than winners Atletico Madrid. Surely the money could have been better spent on defensive targets.
The French Public Sector Award for Transfer Inertia goes to…
…. Manchester United. It may seem odd to suggest a team that’s already spent $95m on Ander Herrera and Luke Shaw still has work to do, but United are starting from a base two fathoms lower than Atlantis. United’s midfield deficiencies are well documented, and someone of Arturo Vidal or Kevin Strootman’s ilk will surely be signing for the Red Devils before the end of August.
United are equally threadbare in defense, however. With the departures of Rio Ferdinand, Nemanja Vidic and Patrice Evra, United have lost three quarters of what, just two seasons ago, would have been their first-choice defensive line. With Louis van Gaal favoring a 3-5-2 formation, United look markedly light at Centre Back and, with the departure of Alexander Buttner, are also short of cover at Left Back / Wing Back. Someone of Daley Blind’s versatility – able to play on the left as well as a deep-lying midfielder – seems like a no-brainer.
Van Gaal has said he will take four weeks to assess his players before making any decisions on transfers. The18 suspects a fair few United fans could tell him right now what he needs to do.
The Niccolo Machiavelli Award for Transfer Cunning goes to…
… Arsene Wenger, for simultaneously adding an extra goal threat to his Arsenal attack while helping to diminish Liverpool’s. The capture of Alexis Sanchez is one of the stand-out pieces of business of the summer, while his sale gave Barcelona the space and proceeds to acquire Luis Suarez. Win-win.
… Jose Mourinho and Didier Drogba. Jose and Didier first met ten years ago in London where, for three glorious years they were inseparable, showering each other with trinkets and silverware. Then, suddenly, Jose left, lured away by a handsome Italian (or Inter Milan president Massimo Moratti, if you prefer). Didier remained in England’s capital, heart-broken, before a brief sojourn on the Bosphorus.
When Jose returned to London, he needed Didier by his side: West End shows just weren’t the same without him. Mourinho yearned to be re-acquainted with one of his first loves; Didier came running.
Levity aside, Drogba’s transfer is a serious move by the Blues: Chelsea are now one man over their overseas player quota, and will have to sell one of their foreign legion to accommodate him. As well as Drogba, who will have a significant impact off the field if not on it, Chelsea’s business this summer should strike fear into their opponents. In Diego Costa, they’ve added a player who found the net 27 times in La Liga last season: that’s nearly double the tally of Chelsea’s top scorer in the EPL (Eden Hazard with 14). In Cesc Fabregas, they have one of the finest attacking midfielders to have played in the Premier League and, at 27, a long-term replacement for the departed Frank Lampard. On top of all that, they flogged the hapless David Luiz for £50m. Goodness.
The Private Equity Industry Achievement Award for Transfer Asset Stripping goes to....
…. Southampton. Of the 14 Saints who took to the field in their final game of the EPL season, five have been sold and a further two are thought to be close to an exit. That would be 50% of their first choice playing staff gone in one window. While Southampton have always been a selling club – Bale, Walcott and Oxlade-Chamberlain all came through their youth ranks – such an exodus in one summer is unprecedented. Unless they have a similarly gifted crop of youngsters coming through, Ronald Koeman will have to work miracles next season.
