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I wouldn't want to tell you to steal the World Cup trophy. I would probably get in trouble with the Supreme Committee for Delivery & Legacy of the Qatar World Cup for saying something like that, and you don't want to be on those guys' shit list, so I'm not saying that.
So I wouldn't want to point out that now is an opportune time to get your hands on the most expensive trophy in sports; no siree, I would not point that out. Because, you see, for the first time ever the FIFA World Cup Trophy is being paraded around all 32 qualified nations. I wouldn't want to emphasize that this is probably a logistics nightmare and a stress on security while reminding you that fortune favors the bold. I wouldn't do that.
How much is the authentic trophy worth? I shouldn't say, but the 14.5-inch, 13.6-pound ornament of 18-karat gold and semi-precious malachite has a value of $20 million. That's $20 million that had its send-off in Switzerland over the weekend and has just arrived in South Korea.
Where's it going next? I shouldn't disclose that, but here's the complete FIFA World Cup Trophy Tour by Coca-Cola:
- 19-20 August – Switzerland (send-off)
- 24-25 August – South Korea
- 26-27 August – Japan
- 29-30 August – Australia
- 1 September – Iran
- 3-4 September – Ghana
- 6-7 September – Senegal
- 8-9 September – Cameroon
- 10-11 September – Morocco
- 13-14 September – Tunisia
- 15 September – Portugal
- 16 September – Spain
- 17-18 September – Croatia
- 20-21 September – Serbia
- 22-24 September – Poland
- 25 September – Netherlands
- 28-30 September – Denmark
- 2-3 October – Germany
- 4-5 October – Belgium
- 6-9 October – France
- 11 October – Wales
- 12-13 October – England
- 15-20 October – Mexico
- 21-23 October – Brazil
- 25-27 October – Argentina
- 28-29 October – Uruguay
- 31 October – 1 November – Ecuador
- 2-3 November – Costa Rica
- 5-8 November – USA
- 9 November – Canada
- 11-12 November – Saudi Arabia
- 13-14 November – Qatar
Gold! People are willing to jeopardize our water supply to get after it, so it must be special.
Am I saying that you should rent an oversized Coca-Cola bottle costume, pretend you're part of the whole ordeal and abscond with the thing? I'm not saying that.
Am I telling you that there's a precedent for this sort of thing? That back in 1983 it was infamously swiped, probably melted down and then sold for a lot of money? Am I saying that's the sort of thing you should do? And that if you do it, then you'll probably be the central protagonist in a future Hollywood heist film where you're portrayed by the next George Clooney hunk? Am I saying that?
No, I'm not saying that. I would get in trouble.
