Announcers

Alexi Lalas’s Scathing USMNT Criticisms, Ranked

The story of Sunday night’s 1-1 draw between Seattle and Los Angeles wasn’t Lamar Neagle’s 85th minute equalizer for the Sounders, nor was it Gyasi Zardes actually doing a goal for the Galaxy. It was provided by FS1 broadcaster Alexi Lalas after the match had concluded. Lalas has some opinions on the USMNT, and he brought them. He brought them hard.

I Like Landon Donovan, But I Can’t Hear Landon Donovan

When the United States began their Gold Cup campaign last Saturday I was in a bar. I was there to watch this game, but somewhere around the 30th minute I started to drift. I was like a pass from the American midfield — serenely floating here and there without any purpose or sense of direction.

Dom Dwyer’s opening goal sent the bartender on a rambling ode to Sydney Leroux that lasted until tonight’s match against Nicaragua, a week-long sonnet on unrealized love. 

Twitter no puede manejar al locutor México-Portugal

Probablemente ya conozcas el resultado del partido por el tercer puesto entre México y Portugal en la Copa FIFA Confederaciones 2017. Si no, permítenos ponerte al día.

Después de una serie de paradas impresionantes (incluido un penalti) del Hombre del Partido Guillermo Ochoa, México estaba a solo tres minutos de un tercer lugar. Entonces Pepe se apoderó de un centro de Ricardo Quaresma para enviar el partido a la prórroga.

Watch Ray Hudson Lend His Magisterial Voice To FIFA 17’s Best Goals

The magisterial Ray Hudson has proven himself braver than a matador in a pink tutu by lending his voice to FIFA 17’s best goals of the year video. Listen to his celestial voice jackrabbit from one goal call to the next, cruising through these highlights like a finely tuned Ferrari.

They tell us all men are equal in God’s eyes, but Ray Hudson makes you seriously questions those words. This video is as electrifying as a toaster in a bathtub, AAAHHHHHHHHHHHARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! 

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