Funny

After the latest bust took down a bunch more of FIFA's top brass, we have some questions.

Are FIFA even paying attention? They stayed in the same hotel as the last big bust. It didn't even occur to them to switch hotels! The only difference between this bust and the last one was the police came in a different door to arrest people.

Cristiano Ronaldo is wishing us a merry Christmas in the most Cristiano Ronaldo way possible, with a music video of "Jingle Bells," set in his house, the opulence of which rivals that of the videos made by gangsta rappers from Miami. We're surprised Rick Ross and DJ Khaled don't have cameos.

He took the opportunity to show aff all the really nice stuff he has in his house, and there is a lot of really nice stuff in his house. He is, after all, Cristiano Ronaldo. We also get primers on his teeth-brushing and toast-making techniques, which is information that we desperately needed.

Face planting is literally one of the most simultaneously hilarious and embarrassing things for a human to do. It’s universal. Our faces allow us to interact and empathize like nothing else in the known universe, and when thenyend up flat against the ground with our feet 3 feet above and behind, you have no choice but to laugh or cringe. Case in point, this soccer player face plant.

Santos was playing in the first led of the final of the Copa do Brasil when Nilson found himself with a golden opportunity to score on an open net against Palmeiras. 

It's good to be the Mauritania President.

Why is it so good? We will explain.

If you're the president of Mauritania, you can, if you happen to be watching a soccer match in your country and get bored with the proceedings, order the match to be sent to penalties in the 63rd minute so you don't have to watch it anymore.

How do we know that you can do this sort of thing if you're the Mauritania President? 

Because that's what he did in real life. We are not making this up.