Any stereotypes about women that you readers may harbor should have been thrown out years ago (seriously, it's 2016), but they should especially be thrown out in light of this video. On a similar note, any stereotypes you may harbor about the French — actually keep those, but forget they exist for like a minute.
A few takeaways:
The LA Galaxy have all the pieces in place for a great 2016 season. The offensive star power of Giovani dos Santos, Steven Gerrard and Robbie Keane has been complimented by the additions of Belgian defensive stalwart Jelle Van Damme, English great Ashley Cole and kung fu master Nigel de Jong.
"That's the most German thing I've ever seen."
This was my reaction to the following video of a Bayern Munich winter training in which Bayern attacking midfielder Thomas Muller shows everyone how few f*cks he gives about the cold.
Thomas Muller doesn't care if its cold https://t.co/1MbdOFDMbB
— 101 Great Goals (@101greatgoals) February 4, 2016
We've all seen it. A goalkeeper gets sent off and the substitute keeper comes on and immediately has to face a penalty. What a difficult task that must be, and it's exactly the situation Serie B side Bari faced in their game against Crotone. Except...they had no substitutions left and were faced with the prospect of putting one of their outfield players in goal. So up stepped striker Riccardo Maniero, who quickly threw a goalie jersey on with all the grace of a teenager who slept through their alarm. Guess how well that worked out.
It sucks to be Scottish football right now. First they made soccer look like the worst version of keepy-uppy ever, now they can’t even set up their own tournament. Keep in mind that the following clip of an awkward reporter and the president of the Scottish FA was broadcast on national television.
So, you know how everyone was saying Manchester United needed a striker, and Van Gaal responded by selling Chicharito and Robin van Persie, loaning out Adnan Januzaj and James Wilson and refusing to replace any of them? Yeah, that was stupid. Anyways, it looks as if he may have done one thing right by recalling Will Keane from loan.
This is one of the most absurd sequences that I have ever seen in a soccer match of any kind. So much so that I would easily bet my life that it will never happen again, and be recorded, in my lifetime, perhaps ever. You may think I am exaggerating, but you don’t understand; a goal keeper scores scores a basket in an indoor soccer match, and then concedes a goal while celebrating.
Barcelona just handed Valencia its worst defeat in 23 years. That’s not something to take lightly. In fact, it’s the kind of thing heard before a lot of people get fired. But somehow, amidst all of the goals (four for Luis Suarez, three for Lionel Messi, for a grand total of Barcelona 7, Valencia 0), all of the cries for mercy, and a complete lack of defending, the singularly most embarrassing moment of the night might belong to Barcelona, courtesy of Neymar’s penalty miss against Valencia.
Manchester United are mediocre. They are boring, even their manager Louis van Gaal has admitted they are boring.
Stuart Pearce is a former defender for the England National Team. He is 53 years old. He is, we believe (though we have not sorted through every person) the only person nicknamed "psycho" to ever receive a knighthood.
Here's what we're getting at: Nottingham Forest legend Stuart Pearce MBE, a.k.a. "psycho," is back. He's coming out of retirement for non-league team Longford AFC, which is — according to the BBC — the worst team in all of England.