Videos

So Barcelona may not have gotten the result against Bayer Leverkusen they would have wanted, but Lionel Messi once again showed that him 1 on 1 with a goal keeper is absolutely no contest.

In the 20th minute, Ivan Rakitic played a perfectly timed diagonal ball that connected with Messi in a defense spitting play. It was beautiful, and left Messi in so much space I wondered if he would call an old friend and “catch up on old times” before he scored. Instead, he just scored.

Cristiano Ronaldo is wishing us a merry Christmas in the most Cristiano Ronaldo way possible, with a music video of "Jingle Bells," set in his house, the opulence of which rivals that of the videos made by gangsta rappers from Miami. We're surprised Rick Ross and DJ Khaled don't have cameos.

He took the opportunity to show aff all the really nice stuff he has in his house, and there is a lot of really nice stuff in his house. He is, after all, Cristiano Ronaldo. We also get primers on his teeth-brushing and toast-making techniques, which is information that we desperately needed.

So, before a scheduled Chilean Primera Division match between Colo Colo and Santiago Wanderers began, the pitch briefly turned into the opening scene from Saving Private Ryan. The Chile fan brawl lasted quite a while compared to traditional fan skirmishes, and appears to have originated outside the stadium.

Face planting is literally one of the most simultaneously hilarious and embarrassing things for a human to do. It’s universal. Our faces allow us to interact and empathize like nothing else in the known universe, and when thenyend up flat against the ground with our feet 3 feet above and behind, you have no choice but to laugh or cringe. Case in point, this soccer player face plant.

Santos was playing in the first led of the final of the Copa do Brasil when Nilson found himself with a golden opportunity to score on an open net against Palmeiras. 

Do not watch this video if you have self-esteem issues and consider yourself pretty good at keepy-uppy. For the majority of us, this grandma keepy-uppy video is enough for us to sink down in a dark hole of despair.

We practiced a lot when we were younger. We practiced keepy-uppy all the time. It's the most basic soccer drill, and perhaps the one that has the most noticeable effect on whether our touch is good or not.

We see this video, and we feel a range of emotions. 

The defining characteristic of any tragedy is the inability to make any sense of it. Thus, the term "senseless violence."

We are led to believe that everything happens for a reason, and when a tragedy on the scale of the Paris attacks occurs we must all try and ferret out a reason behind the tragedy, be it spiritual, ideological or otherwise. 

Before we can move on with our lives, we must know why they have been affected so.