This is a public service announcement for journalists covering press conferences in which Zlatan Ibrahimovic happens to be speaking, especially journalists whom Zlatan Ibrahimovic doesn't particularly like: maybe don't ask Zlatan questions that will make him turn into a fire-breathing Swedish monster, throwing insults around like he's at the roast of Donald Trump or something.
Wayne Rooney had a bad game against Swansea this weekend, and Manchester United lost 2-1.
Rooney has been much maligned this season, and, aside from a hat-trick against Club Brugge in a Champions League qualifier, hasn't done much of anything on the field.
He has, however, made one of Swansea's mascots' days infinitely better. It's hard to hate on Rooney when he inspires this type of reaction from children.
Face it, you will probably never have this reaction to anything in your life.
Nothing reminds you more of how you could never make it as a professional footballer than moseying on over to your local park and taking a few long shots. First, you’ll notice how incredibly inaccurate you are, and how incredibly frustrating it can be to get the ball to do what you want it to do: you mean to bend it far post and high but it goes near post and low; you go for power and just send it straight at the keeper’s chest. You try to chip it and, well, you most definitely do not succeed.
Jose "Joey Bats" Bautista is a big deal to Major League Baseball fans, but Lionel Messi is a big deal to Jose Bautista.
At a recent Toronto Blue Jays practice, Bautista swapped his Blue Jays jersey for a fan's Messi Barcelona jersey, then practiced with the Messi jersey on.
You can't do it all alone, even if you're the best player in the world. This was the message Lionel Messi gave when interviewed after winning the UEFA Player of the Year award (again).
"What we all achieved is all thanks to this great team," Messi said. "When you manage to achieve all your objectives with the group, then your personal objectives can also be achieved."
Messi cements his reputation as a humble superstar here, knowing that even he can't win every game by himself (although in truth he could probably get close).
Stay classy, Messi.
Do you want to know what feels like it happened a long time ago? This, this feels like it happened a long time ago:
That was Javier Hernandez playing hero for Real Madrid in one of the biggest games of the year late last April, 4 months ago.
Siphiwe Tshabalala, owner of one of the world's most enjoyable-to-say names, scorer of the opening goal of the 2010 World Cup, has gone and scored one of the most absurd goals we have seen since...well, in a while.
Hoo, boy! What a rip.
We don't really have anything to add, save our love of saying "Tshabalala."
Tshabalala.
Tshabalala.
We're not a website that tends to complain about refereeing decisions, but we think Mohamed Sokhra might have a legitimate grip here.
Sokhra was kind enough to do the ref's job for him by removing a pitch invader from the field, walking the rogue over to the official, gripping the man's collar.
After Sokhra had delivered the hooligan to the proper autorities, the referee tossed him out of the game, just as he had tossed the pitch invader out.
We know. It makes no sense to us either.
Matias Alonso will probably not receive any sympathy from refs in the future after he hurled himself off a stretcher to waste time after "cramping up" in the late stages of Defensor Sporting's 4-3 win over Bolivian side Real Potosi in the Copa Sudamerica.
The term "fish out of water" doesn't really do justice to what Alonso attempts here, but it's the most accurate description we could think of.
It will be interesting to see if this sparks a trend of players flopping out of stretchers like an unsuspecting person being thrown in a pool.
Ronaldinho brought unpredictability to back to the beautiful game. Because he did so, he singlehandedly defined an era for soccer fans. If you started watching soccer between the years of 2004 to 2006, Ronaldinho was IT. He made the English seem boring, the Germans predictable, the Italians rigid. HE MADE THIS COMMERCIAL.
And today all that is gone.