We here at The18 love a good conspiracy theory. We especially love it when conspiracy theories turn out to be grounded in truth, as is apparently the case with a Chesterfield FC fan promotion that went awry.
Note: please read the below thread while listening to this song. It will set the mood.
Let me tell you a story about what just happened at my football club, Chesterfield FC...
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
The club did a raffle for a lucky supporter to win a place on the pre season tour to Hungary. Tickets £10 a pop...
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
Sales were slow. Really slow. Like a handful at most - 4 or 5. So the club tried to quietly drop the idea...
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
Fortunately the message board members have good memories and questioned why there was no mention of the raffle taking place anymore...
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
The club subsequently announced that the draw had been won by 'Surrey-based Spireite James Higgins'...lucky guy
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
Only thing is, no-one has ever heard of James Higgins... Nor were there pics of him holding a shirt, fists clenched, with tickets in hand..
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
The team jets off for Hungary. A die hard fan travels to the game - and there's no sign of James or indeed any fan with the official party..
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
Rumours start to circulate on the message board. Where is James, is he ok? Questions are raised to the club...
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
Next communication from the club: James was too ill to travel. Hmm. #prayforhiggins begins to trend...
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
Poor James. Very unfortunate. Some might say convenient. Then the club said anyone who'd bought a ticket could be refunded if they asked...
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
Why? asked the fans. Why would they offer a refund on a legit raffle draw, just cos the winner fell ill?
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
Social media searches failed to throw up any mention of James. Meanwhile, the club deleted the illness story from the website...
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
Here it is, by the way... pic.twitter.com/YASFnI9L2G
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
Supporters becoming a bit frustrated at this point. It *appears* the club charged £10 a pop, made about £50 so decided to scrap the idea
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
Next thing, statement from one of the board of directors... pic.twitter.com/cTR7BIrMoN
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
Got to laugh, or I'd cry. My club is rotten. Lies, cover-ups, bullshit - if it wasn't for those pesky fans, they'd have gotten away with it.
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
Meanwhile, James Higgins, if you're out there, drop me a DM. We need to talk.
— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) July 19, 2016
"The Chesterfield Conspiracy" would be an excellent title for a Robert Ludlum-type spy novel. We expect to read it on a plane one of these days.
Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus