The clash between Manchester United and Everton played out much like a GEICO commercial this Saturday at Goodison Park.
The script goes something like this:
"If you're Zlatan, you score ridiculous goals and get away with almost anything, including stomping on Séamus Coleman's head. It's what you do."
"If you're Marouane Fellaini, you come off the bench at 85' and get called for a stupid penalty at the 87'. It's what you do."
And that's pretty much all you need to read to know exactly how the match ended for a Manchester United team trailing current league-leader Chelsea by 13 points.
Late in the second half, after a relatively uninspired performance from both teams, Zlatan beat Everton keeper Maarten Stekelenburg in reaching a long ball and sent in a wild, but perfectly Zlatan-esque chip to put Manchester United up 1-0.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic zet United op voorsprong: 0-1 ! #EVEMUN pic.twitter.com/zKsztEPXix
— Voetbalfan (@manindetribune) December 4, 2016
Things continued to come up all-Zlatan in the second half as the #9 man for Manchester United got away (for the time being at least) with a somewhat blatant stomp on Everton defender Séamus Coleman's head.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic colliding with Seamus Coleman during the second half. pic.twitter.com/JWfgttgx3U
— Squawka News (@SquawkaNews) December 4, 2016
If Manchester United didn't get called for that, it seemed nothing would stop them from taking all 3 points from Everton.
But, as sure as Jose Mourinho and Arsene Wenger won't be going for a beer any time soon, Marouane Fellaini's substitution off the bench at 85' was the beginning of the end for Manchester United's luck.
Within two minutes, Fellaini made a reckless (although not serious) challenge inside the box on Everton midfielder Idrissa Gueye and things unraveled quickly.
Penalty fout van Fellaini en Baines zet de strafschop om: 1-1 ! #EVEMUN pic.twitter.com/XEbgH2v3vf
— Voetbalfan (@manindetribune) December 4, 2016
The match ended tied at 1-1 and Mourinho could only look on in disgust. He had little to say afterwards.
When you have nothing to say. pic.twitter.com/RK5WrVVzNf
— Kristian vS Hæhre (@vonstrenginho) October 31, 2015
Make that nothing.
To add insult to injury, Zlatan may now face retrospective action in the form of a suspension for his stomp on Coleman's head.
Ouch indeed.