The British media are widely reporting that Manchester United have made a direct inquiry to Liverpool about the uncertain future of Raheem Sterling, and are said to be readying a $225,000 per week contract to bring him to Old Trafford.
Which would be sensational, in the same way that a prancing Unicorn winning the Kentucky Derby would be sensational, or Lindsey Lohan staying sober for 48 hours would be sensational. Sensational, and never, ever going to happen.
Clearly someone at the Theatre of Dreams forgot to tell Louis van Gaal about one of the most fundamental rules in English football: Manchester United and Liverpool do not transfer players to one another. It doesn't matter how much money is on offer, or how few months said player has left on his contract, professional footballers do not transfer from Anfield to Old Trafford, and vice versa.
In over 100 years of football history, only nine men have taken the trip directly from Manchester to Merseyside, and the last to do so was Phil Chisnall back in 1964. Since then a few have tried, not least Gabriel Heinze, who publicly stated his desire to sign for Liverpool FC. He was duly sold to Real Madrid.
So given the history; given the animosity Raheem Sterling has already caused by publicly stating his desire to leave; given Liverpool sold Luis Suarez last season and haven't been the same since; given United beat Liverpool to the signing of Memphis Depay just a few weeks ago; given all that, do you, dear readers, really think Fenway Sports Group would sanction the sale of their brightest prospect to their bitterest of rivals?
Of course the won't, and they've already told United as much. Which leads us to conclude that Louis van Gaal's enquiry was nothing more than a cruel, machiavellian dig at Liverpool's soft underbelly, sowing seeds of disarray in the minds of United's oldest enemy while playing to the Old Trafford crowd.
How great the difference between fourth and fifth truly is.
