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Watch The Most Brutal Version Of Soccer On The Planet

Go home, Florence, you’re drunk.

That is what first crossed our minds when we heard that this 27-on-27-boxing-match-with-a-ball (Calcio Storico) you are about to see was actually an early predecessor of Italian Soccer. Who in their right minds would believe this sport - so brutal that players with broken ribs often finish matches - could possibly be related to soccer?


However, once we found out that it was Wikipedia official, we couldn’t really argue. “Calcio Storico,” as it is known, truly is an early and barely recognizable version of soccer. The game consists of two teams, a square field, a ball, and two goals; the similarities with modern day soccer end there. 

The rules of Calcio Storico are simple: the two teams, 27 in number each, attempt to put the aforementioned ball in the net by any means possible - and we mean absolutely any.

After watching, it all makes more sense. The whole video is oozing with Italian pride, and as well it should. Calcio fiorentino is a link to Italy’s glorious past: The Renaissance, one of the most important ages in all of human history, and Italy was its epicenter. 

What should really bother us all, however, is that Italy has a habit of reacting to times of extreme prosperity with the creation of games of extreme barbarity. First gladiators, now calcio fiorentino. 

Once Italy lifts itself out of its current economic malaise, we all need to make sure someone tells Italy that we have been entertained quite enough, thank you very much. We should just stick to the normal version of calcio. You know, the kind they play in Serie A.

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