Aberdeen have released one of the funniest statements we have ever read. The Scottish city has a seagull problem, which the local football club has gone to great lengths to mitigate. This includes, we are not making this up, installing a system that transmits bird distress calls, and, we are not making this up either, hiring a hawk to patrol the stadium.
Here is the full statement released by the team:
Choosing who will lead your squad on the pitch as captain can be a difficult decision as a Premier League manager, especially when you can’t remember their name.
In a pre-match interview with for the International Champions Cup, Louis van Gaal was accompanied by Chris Smalling to answer media questions. While explaining the change of captaincy from Wayne Rooney and Michael Carrick (or Carrot as the Dutch manager likes to say) to Chris Smalling, van Gaal had a slight bump in his thought process.
If former FIFA Executive committee member Jeffrey Webb wants to convince people he isn't a hilariously corrupt person, he didn't do himself any favors when securing his bond.
Webb was one of the FIFA officials arrested during a sting operation in Zurich last month, and the first to be extradited to the United States.
His bond releases him into house arrest, as long as the house is located within 20 miles of the court in Brooklyn he must appear at. He also must provide private security to make sure he doesn't escape, which he must pay for himself.
I almost feel bad for Sepp Blatter at this point; keyword: almost.
Don’t get me wrong, what is happening to him is completely pathetic and pitiful, but he deserves it all. His first words of his latest press conference were so ironic it was like someone paid him to take classes in poetic irony just for the occasion:
“We have to clean here first.”
Yes, Sepp, yes you do.
The most exciting moment of Wigan Athletic's preseason 1-1 draw at Altrincham didn't occur during actual gameplay.
Wigan defender James Tavernier was about to take a corner when a young fan ran onto the field and stole Tavernier's thunder.
Tavernier's reaction is pretty hilarious.