Highlights

Bayern-PSG ended with the Parisians taking their second loss this week. Bayern's 3-1 victory was more of a victory in the moral sense, as they had basically no chance of winning the group thanks to goal differential. However, Bayern can hold their heads high knowing they can still compete with the best teams in Europe. As recently as a few months ago that was debatable.

It was all Lil B's doing, obviously.

Manchester United wrapped up top spot in UEFA Champions League Group A on Tuesday with a 2-1 victory over CSKA Moscow at Old Trafford. Moscow took a shock first half lead before Romelu Lukaku and Marcus Rashford scored in quick succession to restore their side’s advantage for good.

Goals change games. That’s pretty much football 101. That’s how the game works. But not every goal is created equal. This week in Serie A, the true value of a goal was shown to be different on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. So let’s take a look at the three goals that defined the weekend and why they differed so widely. 

This goal has some layers to it, y'all.

Udinese put three goals past Crotone in Serie A on Monday, and the best of the bunch was the third, a delicious, flavorful team move finished off by ...

(opens oven)

(takes megaphone out of oven, wearing oven mitts, obviously, because the megaphone is really hot)

(blows on megaphone to cool it down a bit)

KEVIN LASAGNA.

Georghe Hagi had a knack of scoring from anywhere on the pitch. Like Steph Curry, give him a few feet and he could launch a shot from anywhere inside his own half — and usually score. Now the Romanian legend’s 19-year-old son is doing the same with Fiorentina, which beat Chievo Verona 3-2 in a youth match thanks to an unlikely Ianis Hagi goal. 

Benevento’s raucous point against AC Milan on Sunday, their first after 15 matches in Serie A, was as historic as it was surreal. It put an end to the worst losing start ever in Europe’s big five leagues, but it was also miraculously earned by goalkeeper Alberto Brignoli after the shot-stopper pushed forward on a 95th minute free kick.

Also, it was a glorious diving header to make life that much more hellish for the floundering seven-time European champions, Milan.

Manchester United-Arsenal was the best game of the Premier League season so far. The highlights prove it, and some other thinga also prove it.

Highlights:

Barcelona have not had a good Saturday.

First, they were held to a 2-2 draw by Celta Vigo, the sort of opponent that Barca should never have any trouble putting away. Lionel Messi and Luis Suarez both scored, but the defense was not good.