Humor

German Guy Says Germany Will Win World Cup, If Germany Has Anything To Do With It

It turns out Trump was right. You can get sick of winning. Germany winning, that is. Especially when German guy Lothar Matthäus starts rubbing it in.

Before you get your undies in a bunch and start telling us that "Lothar Matthäus isn't just some 'German guy,'" and that he may or may not be the greatest German player in history, let us cut you off. We know. We know he played in five World Cups. We know he's the most capped player in German history. We have the internets.

Marshawn Lynch Put The Team On His Back In A Charity Match

Marshawn Lynch wandered into a charity soccer match in Seattle this weekend, and, well, he did not behave himself very well.

Paulo Dybala Freekick Beats Absurd 20 Person Wall in Charity Match

Argentina’s new sensation has proven time and again how talented he is on the biggest stage for Juventus. It looks like no matter what the circumstances are, Dybala finds a way to shine.

In a charity match in his hometown of Laguna Larga, the 23-year-old was faced with a seemingly insurmountable task - put the ball in the back of the net with 18 defenders and two goalkeepers in the way, many of whom were hanging from the crossbar to further block his path.

Twitter Can't Handle Mexico-Portugal Announcer

You likely know by now the outcome of the third-place match between Mexico and Portugal in the 2017 FIFA Confederations Cup. If you don't, let us catch you up.

After a series of impressive saves (including a penalty) from Man of the Match Guillermo Ochoa, Mexico were just three minutes away from a third place finish. Then Pepe got ahold of a cross from Ricardo Quaresma to send the game into extra time.

Spending €70,000 On Witchcraft Is Money Well Spent

Benfica, we get it. Soccer is hard. Sometimes, you can’t rely on player skill, tactics and good old fashion work ethic. 

So if these allegations are true, don’t be embarrassed that your rival Porto has outed you for using a witch to win the Portuguese Primeira Liga. Sometimes, you need a little help from beyond.

Witches, especially in America and the UK, get a bad rap. 

Operating Room Reacts To Claudio Bravo’s Penalty Heroics During Surgery

Claudio Bravo’s heroics in net for Chile yesterday made for can’t-miss television as the reigning South American champions dumped out Cristiano Ronaldo’s Portugal in the Confederations Cup semifinals. The gravitational pull of international soccer was at the height of its attraction as evidenced by this operating room taking the time to watch the shootout.

Europe Doesn't Need To Fear The CSL, But The NHL Does

In recent years, the top division in China has slowly become a new locus of appealing, high-octane soccer. Some of this has to do with the big name stars the league has drawn in like Carlos Tevez, Alexandre Pato, Ricardo Carvahlo and a host of others. 

However, in the past couple weeks, it seems a different pattern is getting all the attention — the bizarre displays of violence and aggression that have unfolded on the field. 

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