Liverpool vs. Everton, the fabled Merseyside derby, always brings with it vast quantities of bad takes. Usually these are boilerplate blood-and-wine "it just means more" affairs, but one, from Talksport presenter Mike Parry, caught our attention.
Absolutely disgraceful that James Bond has come out as a Koppite .. 007 belongs to this nation .. not one football club .. any football club
The bust of Cristiano Ronaldo at the Cristiano Ronaldo International Airport in Madeira has miraculously gained consciousness, it’s first words being “I think you all should know that I’m feeling very depressed.”
“Do I have a mark on my face?” he then asked. “It really hurts. I can’t feel my body, so that doesn’t hurt very much, but my face does. Right here,” he said while scrunching the left side of his face. “Not here or here so much. Right here.”
Remember when Bastian Schweinsteiger was introduced to the Chicago Fire? And that guy asked him if the club had a real shot at a World Cup with his joining of the squad?
American reporter: "Can you win the World Cup with Chicago Fire?"
Bastian Schweinsteiger: ... pic.twitter.com/rco9Vf6icZ— Photos of Football (@photosofootball) March 30, 2017
Cristiano Ronaldo looks like he was forged out of steel, but when you try to use actual steel (or similar metal) to forge something that is supposed to look like Cristano Ronaldo, you end up with something that does not look like Cristiano Ronaldo at all.
You end up with this:
why is it impossible to make a normal Cristiano Ronaldo statue pic.twitter.com/sGFHgd4YO6
When you sign your kid up for youth soccer, you should know that you're signing yourself up as well. Your nights will now include driving to and from practice and your weekends will be booked with various games and tournaments. You may be confused at the beginning of the season, but after a few weeks, you'll quickly understand why the sacrifices you have to make are worth it.
Let me guess, you’ve dated a variety of different guys but nothing has ever worked out. He was either too quiet, too mean or went MIA. Now you're sick and tired of dating but you don’t want to face this world alone. Don’t stress out, I’m here to open your eyes and point you in the right direction.
There are some things in football that just seem impossible to stop. Can anyone stop Lionel Messi from having an influence on the game? No. You can only hope to contain him for damage limitation. Can anyone stop Arjen Robben from cutting inside? No. You just have to hope he’s injured and not available for selection. Can England stop Iceland’s long throw even though it’s their only form of attack? No. Roy Hodgson isn't ready for that.