Manchester United

If you're a Bastian Schweinsteiger fan, please don't get your hopes up.

The German is back in Manchester United training, ending his strange exile from the first team. This doesn't mean he's going to play in a game any time soon, in fact some have speculated that Jose Mourinho is just letting Schweinsteiger train with the first team so he's fit when United try to sell him in January, which is sort of like the "fattening him up to eat him" of the footballing world.

The post-Sir Alex Ferguson era has hit an all-time low point with the team’s play becoming so boring that it's putting their fans to sleep, sparking a new demand for mattresses and pillows.

There was a strange moment in the EFL Cup fourth round match between Manchester United and Manchester City during the half-time break. The first half had passed largely without incident save for a Kelechi Iheanacho header that the young Nigerian got completely wrong. Zlatan Ibrahimovic had a wretched opening 45 minutes, but the half-time punditry, as it so often does this season, gradually shifted to Paul Pogba. 

During the commercial intermission, we were treated to this beautiful Adidas commercial concerning the world’s most expensive player: 

Marouane Fellaini needs to be dropped. For a player whose job is to link defense and attack, he is one of the most unreliable middlemen in the game. The only consistency you get from the afroed Belgian is a world class chest trap and an imposing-yet-bumbling aerial presence. 

With a resounding 4-0 win over the Chelsea side, Antonio Conte showed Jose Mourinho how it’s done as he defeated the Portuguese with nearly the same squad he failed to perform with.

Is it finally time to accept that Mourinho isn’t who he once was? Chelsea fans surely seemed to agree during the titanic clash:

"You're not special anymore," sing the #cfc fans

In a news conference following Monday’s tie with Liverpool, in preparation for their thursday night Europa League match, Mourinho made it clear to reporters that Manchester United have no “untouchables”. He contrasted it to his time at Chelsea, where in 2006 Moutinho described his squad as having nine players that would not be dropped.

Eric Bailly wore some jelly shoes to Manchester United training. For this indiscretion he was roasted on Instagram by teammates Ashley Young and Juan Mata, and rightly so.

Just take a look:

Fenerbahce's Europa League trip to Manchester took an interesting turn when the team's plane hit a bird and had to land in Budapest, Hungary.

The team, which features former Premier-Leaguers Robin van Persie and Martin Skrtel, posted this on Twitter:

Kafilemizi Manchester'a götüren uçağın camına kuş çarpması nedeniyle, uçak Budapeşte'ye zorunlu iniş yaptı. Endişe verici bir durum yok. pic.twitter.com/tYhUWp2omJ