Men

Chelsea’s victory over Arsenal on Saturday was marked by a strange phenomena that led to the end of midfield enforcer Francis Coquelin’s career. Coquelin was employed to stop suspicious characters from running straight through the Arsenal midfield, but he failed after suffering spontaneous human combustion while tracking Eden Hazard. 

He exploded into hellfire. There is no adequate explanation for this bit of poltergeist, in fact, referee Martin Atkinson adjudged it to be a foul, which is a pretty terrible way to treat someone who’s just suffered self-detonation.

Leading up to the Super Bowl, Manchester United striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic had a conversation with retired NFL player Osi Umenyiora, who asked the Swede what position he would play if he were in the NFL.

Here's Zlatan's answer: “The guy who makes the difference. I’d be the one who catches the ball. Maybe I wouldn’t be so fast but I would be like a bull and run through all of them.”

Real Madrid’s 3-0 victory over Real Sociedad has silenced many critics, especially after both Sevilla and Barcelona dropped points. Real now have a four-point lead with a game in hand at the top of La Liga. But such is the nature of the beast at the Santiago Bernabeu that Zinedine Zidane is still facing questions over a poor January that included a stretch of one win in five matches and elimination from the Copa del Rey. 

Barcelona, the defending Copa del Rey champions, are on the cusp of being able to defend their title after defeating Atletico Madrid 2-1 in Madrid. Luis Suarez and Lionel Messi put Barca up 2-0 by halftime, but Antoine Griezmann managed to pull one back for Atletico in the 59th minute. 

Over 48,000 inside the Vicente Calderon witnessed a nightmare start as Suarez opened the scoring for Barcelona in the seventh minute. With Javier Mascherano returned to the defensive midfield role, his crunching tackle saw the ball roll free to Suarez. 

Diego Maradona’s expulsion from the 1994 World Cup in the United States, for what FIFA executive committee member Michel d’Hooghe described as “a cocktail of drugs”, resulted in a 15-month ban from soccer, but the verdict also prohibited Maradona from visiting the US for 22 years.

Pep Guardiola’s first season in England is not going to the way he planned. His Manchester City side are currently out of the top four, endangering their chances of qualifying for the Champions League — let alone winning the title. 

They also have the most losses out of all teams in the top six with five defeats, and conceded the most goals with 28. The team has many problems on the pitch, and converting their chances inside the final third seems to be the biggest one.

Prior to Sunday’s match against Serbia, much of the coverage centered on the idea of dual-national American players. It’s not a new concept. The United States has been fielding dual nationals since US Soccer was founded.