MLS

Bastian Schweinsteiger Is The Banter King Of Chicago

When Argentine Chicago Fire forward Luis (Lucho) Solignac left his phone unlocked, his new teammate Bastian Schweinsteiger knew just what to do with it: remind the Argentine, and his followers, who won the World Cup in 2014.

It was Germany. Germany won the World Cup in 2014. Bastian Schweinsteiger played in that game. Lucho Solignac didn't but you can imagine he had a rooting interest just the same.

MLS Deserves A Lot Of The Blame For Tim Howard's Suspension

Fans yelling at players, making obscene gestures and just being overall ridiculous in the stands...it's all a part of the culture of professional sports. It's the jelly to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and it's just something that professionals and spectators have to accept.

MLS Rankings Of Power: Week Seven

We’re about a quarter of the way through the MLS regular season (some teams have played eight, some seven and some six, so who really knows) but can we safely say we’re a quarter of the way towards discovering the most oomph-inducing force in the majorest of major leagues? I think so, and, I’ve got to say, things are shaping up better than I ever could’ve imagined. 

Lady Asks Old Man To Take Photo Of Her With Fire Squad, Old Man Is Bastian Schweinsteiger

As the Chicago Fire arrived at the Toronto airport for their upcoming game against Toronto FC, one lady spotted the Fire squad. She then decided to ask Bastian Schweinsteiger if he would take a picture of her with the rest of the Fire players.

Thankfully for the soccer world, the Fire's assistant head coach Eric Gehrig was able to snap a picture of the scene.

What happened next is a picture worth a thousand words — and laughs. Plenty of laughs.

LAFC’s Banc Of California Stadium Is Going To Be The Swankiest Venue In MLS

LAFC are planning on opening their Banc of California Stadium in Los Angeles in time for their inaugural 2018 MLS season. These are the latest renderings and they are lush. 

The framing of downtown Los Angeles in one corner is surreal, the pitchside seats would be an insanely awesome experience and it all has the feel of an incredibly high end Copacabana beach resort. There are swimming pools.

Why can’t America produce a Lionel Messi? Trick question, we already have

When the World Cup or November 25 comes around (the man's birthday), there's usually one thought on my mind... Clint Mathis was probably the best player of all time. I'll show you some things.

What was there that wasn’t great about Clint Mathis? He’s from a small city in Georgia. That's cool. He was the first male soccer player in eight years to appear on the cover of Sports Illustrated. What a dude. He was on the cover of Backyard Soccer 2004, and there’s no higher accolade than that s**t.

MLS Rankings Of Power: Week Six

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of the word “power” is the ability to act or produce an effect. It’s also the ability to get extra-base hits. It’s very much in that spirit that we continue on our search for which MLS stuff is most capable of turning a single into a double or most like Mark McGwire.

John Terry To Leave Chelsea This Summer And Defend Resolutely Somewhere Else

After over two decades of flinging himself at the ball in the blue of Chelsea and winning a lot of trophies, John Terry has announced his decision to leave the club at the end of the season. Terry is synonymous with Chelsea’s rise to English and continental dominance as well providing that bit of assholery that every successful club needs. 

JT, as he’s called by those in the know, isn’t done defending yet, though. His high and tight haircut and high socks could be making their way to resolutely defending a club near you.

Secretary Of Defense Tim Howard Receives 3-Match Ban For Fighting All Of Kansas City

The Colorado Rapid’s disappointing start to the 2017 season took another turn for the worse with goalkeeper Tim Howard being handed a three-match suspension and fine from MLS. 

The league handed Howard the suspension on the eve of Colorado’s 2-1 defeat to Real Salt Lake on Saturday. The incidents in question had taken place the previous Sunday at Children’s Mercy Park in Kansas City.

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