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When we were strapping young youth soccer players, our coaches would tell us not to argue with the ref. They were adamant about this: no arguing with the ref, under any cicumstances. No matter how bad the call was, no matter how wronged we thought we had been, we were not allowed to argue with the ref.

Now, we know why. Our coaches probably thought they were teaching us about sportsmanship or something, but they were really teaching us not to get shot, which, we think, is at least as valuable if, not more.

Cristiano Ronaldo just scored the 500th goal of his career. He has scored it during Real Madrid’s match against Valencia.

500 - Cristiano Ronaldo has scored his 500th goal in his professional career (club and country). Proclaimer.

— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) September 30, 2015

Scoring an equalizing penalty in the 93rd minute is a big deal.

Scoring an equalizing penalty in thr 93rd minute then chugging a fan's beer is just plain awesome.

That's what happened in Denmark, when Esbjerg fB's Nicki Belle Nielsen, as mentioned before, scored a penalty in the 93rd minute and celebrated by grabbing a fan's beer and chuggung it.

The fan didn't seem to mind, but Neilsen probably owes him or her a replacement. It's just common courtesy, really.

I know that Premier League match atmospheres have a lot going for them. The fans are extremely passionate; there seems to be a song for every single player and every single situation. But, they lack a certain kind of raw power found in the Spanish, Portuguese, and Italian Leagues. 

The best example I can give is the way that they celebrate an amazing goal. The crowd doesn’t cheer so much as it collectively looses it’s s***; it’s the difference between yelling “YES!” and “OH MY F***ING GOD!”

Observe the phenomena in the Portuguese first division: 

"Senna" is one of the best sports documentaries we've seen. It holds its own in a genre that's been increasingly crowded with quality films, especially since the launch of ESPN's 30 for 30 series. 

Ostensibly, "Senna" has very little to do with Cristiano Ronaldo, but that's about to change. The team behind "Senna" has produced a documentary about the Portuguese superstar that looks at the life of one of the most recognizable athletes in the world, and how he got to be one of the most recognizable athletes in the world. 

When Real Madrid played Espanyol two weekends ago, no one expected anything other than a commanding Madrid victory, and that’s exactly what happened. No one player was a bigger manifestation of that dominance than Cristiano Ronaldo. He scored 5 goals that day, ending the season’s first prematurely controversial goal drought at just 2 games. He would go on to score a hat trick three days later in the Champions League.

Anyone who witnessed the pantomime that was Chelsea vs. Arsenal will have seen Diego Costa doing his very best impression of Tony Montana, albeit without the machine guns and enormous pile of cocaine. Of NBC’s circa 10 minute highlight reel, roughly five were dedicated to Costa’s shenanigans, first against Laurent Koscielny and then Gabriel.

Robert Lewandowski has scored 5 straight second half goals in 9 minutes against Wolfsburg. The Bundesliga game was at 1-0, it ended 5-1.

Here are all five of his goals.

Unbelievable. Mind blowing. Amazing. Lewandowski now owns VfB Wolfsburg, or he might as well. 

Have you ever seen footage of a flood? People talk about how there are massive, 100 ft walls of water that barrel across beaches and towns but that’s not really how it works. Water doesn’t just form a vertical wall; it seeps and flows, steadily, more rapidly than you think until all of the sudden a street is turned into a river 15 ft deep. It’s dangerous because people inland away from the initial landfall don’t react quickly. They want to see how the situation unfolds, and their curiosity kills them.