If it is hard out here for a pimp, then it must be truly cruel to be a defender. It’s their job to stand between some of the most talented people in the world and their goal: the goal. Needless to say, it doesn’t always end well. Defenders get nutmegged, dragged out of position, yelled at by fans and teammates alike, and lambasted by the media on a weekly basis. When they are good, people hardly notice them. It’s a thankless job.
FIFA communications director Walter De Gregorio appeared on Swiss television and told a joke. After that, he didn't have a job anymore. The Joke?
"FIFA President Sepp Blatter, the General Secretary, and the Communications Director are in a car. Who is driving? The police."
John Oliver took out about four minutes of air-time in Trinidad & Tobago to try to coerce Jack Warner, a native of the islands and former FIFA executive, to turn over incriminating documents to the feds. Warner, who has served as a FIFA Vice President and head of CONCACAF, had bought a similar slice of airtime on the same station to threaten the release of the documents.
Basically, Oliver made a TV commercial to the effect of, "Do it! Do it!"
A Romanian child in a youth game scored a goal that reminded many of a certain diminutive Argentine.
Sergio Aguero and David Villa, as well as a few of their Manchester City and NYCFC teammates, partook in a friendly game of soccer tennis.
Moreno, apparently an Italian rapper, nutmegged Pavel Nedved during a charity game. Then Nedved retaliated in kind.
In an unprecedented act of outreach, Ronaldo has recorded and tweeted out a video in which he speaks about a very personal fight.
Nicolas Maduro, the President of Venezuela, endorsed Diego Maradona for the soon-to-be-vacant FIFA presidency.
Manel Vich has been announcing the Barcelona lineup since 1956.
Kevin Gutierrez looked like a certain world-class footballer as he stroked the ball in off the cross bar at the U20 World Cup.