WTF

Paraguay Capture A Chilean Spy Filming Their Tactical Training Session

It’s do or die time in South American World Cup qualifying, and Thursday features some all-important matches between Uruguay-Argentina, Brazil-Ecuador and Chile-Paraguay. For Chile and Paraguay, the stakes couldn’t be higher.

Paraguay’s World Cup hopes are hanging by a thread with only four matchdays remaining. Defeat at the Estadio Monumental in the Chilean capital of Santiago would essentially put an end to any hopes of participating in Russia, but Los Guaranies can take heart from the fact that they defeated La Roja 2-1 in their last encounter.

Football’s Most Influential Agent Thinks Messi Needs A Transfer To Prove His Greatness

Mino Raiola, the footballing super agent with a clientele list including Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Paul Pogba, Romelu Lukaku and Gianluigi Donnarumma, believes that Lionel Messi must leave Barcelona to show the world that he’s good at football.

10 Truly Bizarre Stadium Features That You’ll Need To Sample

Ah, the modern stadium. As the governor of St. Louis so eloquently put it, “welfare for millionaires.” In place of standing-room only paddocks exposed to inclement weather, we now have free universal wi-fi, luxury suites that place you next to the players and concession prices that’ll cause your rent check to bounce.

Fan-tastic. But it’s not all doom and gloom. Some features of modern stadiums are simply breathtaking or incredibly well-reasoned. Alas, some older grounds also boast truly unique features that make them a cut above the rest of the cookies. 

This Free Kick Makes It Painfully Clear How Important A Good Wall Is

FK Sloboda is a football club and not in the construction business. This was apparent Sunday when building a wall to defend a free kick against HŠK Zrinjski in the Premier League of Bosnia & Herzegovina.

Thanks to state-of-the-art microphone technology, we were able to pick up on the conversation that went on as Sloboda planned out its strategy.

“Everybody listen up. I have the best plan, the greatest plan, a better plan than any of the tacticians in Italy or England could think up.”

“OK skipper, what have you got in mind for defending this free kick?”

Notts County’s Matt Tootle Just Wants To Know Why They Never Play Nightcrawlers Anymore

Notts County scores. Darkness falls and magic stirs as Matt Tootle becomes a creature of the night — a nightcrawler! But it looks like it’s time for an intervention with the rest of his teammates, because they just don’t look interested in joining Tootle for a quick game.

Nightcrawlers is just what it sounds like, it’s a game where you crawl around like worms in the night, mining minerals under the bed while using your imagination. Tootle clearly knows what’s up. 

Marko Arnautović Wins Red Card Award For Outstanding Sportsmanship

Last week, Jonjo Shelvey revealed himself to be the thinking man of the Premier League when he stomped on Dele Alli's ankle in plain sight of the referee, presumably after running the idea by his good friend Potato Brain. It was a true display of intellect, the likes of which we thought we would never see again.

Oh happy day, we were wrong.

Source Confirms Christian Pulisic Will Reflect On Year At The End Of The Year

For those of you wondering whether or not Christian Pulisic is rational and capable of completing basic mental exercises, an unnamed ESPN FC source has confirmed that in about 365 days, Pulisic will have been provided with an additional 365 days of experience from which to reminisce and reflect on, and he will do that.

Orlando Won’t Appeal Kaka’s Super Playful, Super Weird Red Card Goof

We’ve come to understand that VAR is going to get weird. There are going to be suspensions of play that feel strange, there are going to be offenses that are bizarrely non-reviewable, there are going to be goals disallowed for offenses in the buildup that’ll feel mysteriously idiosyncratic. It all comes with the power of time travel.

But the one surreal use of VAR we never expected would be the one ending with the brandishing of a straight red card to the wholesome Kaka, which happened on Saturday. This wasn’t your classic sending off — it was weird as s**t. 

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