David Ospina Shows Why Twirling Around Isn’t In The Guide To Goalkeeping

David Ospina is a goalkeeping legend. Arsenal’s No. 2 spends his time in the shadows because of Petr Cech, but when he emerges, hell hath no fury like like a designated cup ‘keeper. When he’s not too busy lifting the FA Cup trophy, he’s usually making wonderfully memorable additions to the goalkeeping handbook. 

Joe Hart Loudly Swearing Is The Best Moment In Liverpool-Manchester City History

Manchester City and Liverpool have scored their fair shares of incredible goals against each other, but there's one moment in their storied history that stands out. It's from Liverpool's 4-1 win over City in 2015.

Martin Skrtel's thunderous goal from a corner kick put a lid on the game, and Joe Hart (or someone who sounds EXACTLY like him), standing too close to a microphone, said the f-word really loud. The broadcast picked it up. It was beautiful.

The Worst 12-Second Display Of Goalkeeping In The History Of The Game

According to researchers from the Georgia Institute of Technology, all mammals take an average of 12 seconds to poop. Regardless of the size of the rectum, be it an elephant’s sphincter or a cat’s, that s**t is riding a wave of mucus like “a sled sliding down a chute” and out in no time flat. Unless it’s diarrhea — that confounds all mathematical models.

Jurgen Klopp Tells Simon Mignolet Not To Worry About That Handsome Other Guy

Simon Mignolet is a solid guy. The 29-year-old Belgian shot-stopper isn’t renowned for his incredible reflexes, an impeccable command of his area or world-class distribution, but he’s pretty dependable. “He is solid, he is like a machine. You can always rely on him,” says Liverpool boss Jurgen Klopp.

Scottish Premiership Keeper Appears To Mentally Fall Into A Black Hole

30-year-old Ross County goalkeeper Scott Fox committed one of the strangest howlers you’ll see all season during his side’s defeat to Rangers in the Scottish Premiership over the weekend. 

A poor back pass invited pressure on Fox, but the experienced keeper displayed some great footwork to evade the challenge and create some space for himself. But in the four seconds to follow, Fox appears to suffer from a severe brian fart — a brain shart or even brain diarrhea. 

Watch Memo Ochoa Bail Out His Defense With An Amazing Triple Save

Mexico international goalkeeper Memo Ochoa bailed out his Standard Liege defense with an incredible triple save Sunday.

Ochoa faces down an attacker one on one and forces the ball wide, ultimately dispossessing the attacking player.

Marseille Keeper Steve Mandanda Skill Checks The Living Hell Out Of An Attacker

So yeah, the linesman has his flag up for offside, negating the reality of Marseille goalkeeper Steve Mandanda’s actions here, but the attacker for NK Domzale doesn’t know that. He’s going full bore, which really makes this combination Cruyff Turn/Rolled Nutmeg bloody murder.

The 32-year-old French international set the tone with this skill check. Is it any surprise, with the Stade Velodrome suddenly set to lit level 10, that Marseille scored the opener only 12 minutes later?