Humor

I Found The Secret To Being Unstoppable In FIFA Seasons Online

Tired of having to face an Ultimate Team on FIFA stacked with players like Messi and Ronaldo while you’re toying around with an average gold team? Or perhaps you’re a FIFA beginner and don’t want to hassle with making an Ultimate Team. No matter the case, I've unlocked the secret to instant glory with the best team to use for FIFA Seasons.

Atalanta Player Promises 1,000 Fans Pizza If His Team Wins Champions League; Too Bad It Won't Be The Best Pizza

Atalanta became the new fan favorite of the Champions League after midfielder Marten de Roon reiterated his promise that he will make pizza for 1,000 fans if his team wins the Champions League.

Doctors HATE This: The One WEIRD Trick Soccer Players Use To Get SHREDDED

Listen, I know this sounds CRAZY but it’s so true and so EASY. My life changed FOREVER thanks to this ONE WEIRD TRICK I used to eviscerate fat, build LEAN muscle and get shredded FASTER than an Alphonso Davies recovery tackle.  

soccer player workout

Remember When Juve Manager Andrea Pirlo Snatched Cristiano Ronaldo’s Soul?

Following Zinedine Zidane’s success at Real Madrid, the appointment of the legendary cerebral midfielder has become the status quo at Europe’s super clubs: Plucky underdogs Chelsea turned to Frank Lampard, Barcelona recently gave Xavi the eyes and Juventus — moments after dismissing manager’s manager Maurizio Sarri — turned to the enigmatic merlot that is Andrea Pirlo.

“Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout” Is Coming For FIFA’s Crown

Released on August 4 for PlayStation 4 and PC, Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout plays with the hugely successful battle royale formula of games like Fortnite, PUBG and Call of Duty: Warzone but with a playful twist: Instead of gunning down opponents on the path to being the last one standing, Fall Guys whittles down from 59 players over a series of mini games to determine the lone survivor. 

Adding Insult To Injury: Club Tijuana Carting Off Players In Millennium Falcon

Last night, Club Tijuana and Tigres played to a scoreless draw at Estadio Caliente in a match that included six yellow cards and 39 fouls. Our friends over at the always excellent FMF State of Mind blog said the game “devolved into a series of fouls that choked off any momentum” and included “long stretches of the teams mauling one another.”

Copenhagen Manager Hilariously Bets His Bonus On Losing To Man Utd In Europa League

FC Copenhagen made history on Wednesday by becoming the first Danish club to advance to a European quarterfinal since 1996 after defeating Turkish champion Istanbul Basaksehir 3-0 (3-1 aggregate). Two things were learned from the match: Copenhagen isn’t to be taken lightly and CBS posts 16-minute long highlight videos.

Scottish Club Ross County Just Signed Its 5th Player Named ‘Ross’

On Aug. 1, Scottish Premiership side Ross County signed goalkeeper Ross Doohan on loan from Celtic. To the average fan of the sport, this isn’t any groundbreaking or relatively eye-catching move. That is, until you realize the weird empire Ross County is building with guys named “Ross.”

Seal-Dribbling Madman Spotted In Belarus

Back in the days of FIFA Street, you used to have to string together tricks and skills to fill a combo bar which unleashed the GameBreaker — an action that would allow you to score from essentially anywhere, usually by way of scissor kick. 

If this feature were somehow ported into real life, performing the seal dribble would instantly charge that GameBreaker to max capacity. Across the spectrum of sport, I know of no form of self-expression that’s as needless, as brazen and as semiaquatic marine mammal-inspired as the seal dribble.

After 30-Year Career, Juventus And Roma Players Surprise Referee With Heartfelt Tribute

The life of a referee is a brutal one. If a referee does their job correctly and makes all the right calls then no one talks about the official. However, if the referee does the opposite — much like Anthony Taylor in the FA Cup final — then they receive a tidal wave of criticism.

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