Humor

Juventus overcame an early goal from Krysztof Piatek to beat AC Milan 2-1 on Saturday, another victory on the easy road to yet another Scudetto. But the match could have ended poorly for both sides were it not for some heroics from Bianconeri keeper Wojciech Szczesny.

Szczesny, the former Arsenal goalie, let his national allegiances guide his heart during an incident between Juve teammate Mario Mandzukic and Poland teammate Piatek. Mandzukic had murder in his eyes when Szczesny stepped in to prevent the Piatek family line from being discontinued.

The Edinburgh Derby, the fierce rivalry between Hearts of Midlothian and Hibernian, saw its 645th edition played on Saturday at Tynecastle Stadium, home of Hearts.

The match didn’t quite have the fireworks of their meeting in November, which saw an assistant referee assaulted, a coach hit by a coin and a goalkeeper punched by a fan.

But there was a coconut.

Back in 2001, Major League Soccer almost folded. After six seasons, millions of dollars in operating losses and with two clubs on the verge of contraction (the Tampa Bay Mutiny and Miami Fusion), the league was really only kept afloat by the vision of Lamar Hunt (who owned the Columbus Crew, Kansas City Wizards and Dallas Burn in his lifetime). 

When does a celebration get out of hand, forcing the referee to whistle for a restart and allowing the team that just conceded to race down the field and score a goal of its own? It’s an unwritten rule that the euphoria which greets a goal should be given ample time to manifest itself, but who’s to say when enough’s enough?

Pelé is generally considered the greatest footballer of all time. The U.S. has been looking for its own version of Pelé ever since the Brazilian graced the NASL more than 40 years ago. 

It turns out, we’ve had our own Pelé all along, and he’s the most polarizing figure in the country.

Donald Trump has been given the nickname of Pelé by a select group of people who know more about his sporting abilities than perhaps anyone in the world.

Americans loves celebrities like apple pie and making fun of baseball. It’s why late night TV shows constantly barrage us with uninspired interviews of famous actors trying to get us to watch their new thing.

But occasionally, a late night show does something truly inspired. They bring on a soccer player, someone who can actually keep the viewers who aren’t in states where marijuana is legalized awake. 

Soccer lends itself to comedy. It is, after all, a game of failure and one in which supporters are required to accept a degree of fatalism with their fandom. Certain aspects of the game require us to adapt a gallows humor, while the overwhelming popularity of the sport also makes it an extremely suitable subject matter to lampoon. The funniest soccer comedy sketches of all time highlight the absurdity of it all.

The 10 Funniest Soccer Comedy Sketches Of All Time

#1. Monty Python — Philosophers’ World Cup

Many people find it hard to enjoy international breaks. Clubs don’t play during the weekend so you can’t get your fantasy team or your club football fix in general. Even with the new international competitions made to keep the breaks more entertaining and relevant, club football can leave behind a kind of withdrawal. Lucky for you, The18 has compiled a list of things you can do to survive the international break without dying.

The short-lived Paul Scholes coaching career might be over after 31 days.

Scholes took over for Pete Wild at League Two Oldham Athletic in February, the 44-year-old's first ever full-time coaching gig. About a month later, the former England midfielder quit after recording one win in seven matches. 

Now the manner in which Scholes quit has come to light, and it’s not flattering for the Manchester United legend.

How do you best secure your legacy for as close to all eternity as humanly possible? Is it by practicing an inscrutably benevolent existence, and by leaving breadcrumbs of goodwill along this path we call life? Or is it by building a Great Pyramid in the style of Khufu?    

When you die, how do you want to be commemorated? With something solemn and dignified, or do you want your body to be trapezed around the room like a spectacular, moribund puppet?