Humor

If you’re in the know — a filmophile of sorts — you’ll be aware of the fever gripping the planet, a fever that’s only cured by a heavy dose of nostalgia. We need to ‘member childhood. We need to travel to a long time ago and a place far away. We need to see the forces of good and evil locked in a timeless battle while we veg out in a CGI-induced state of classical conditioning.

And so everyone is losing their collective shit over the approaching release of Rampage starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

During Sunday's Bundesliga match between Cologne and Freiburg, the referee called a penalty for Cologne. The only problem was no one could find the penalty spot. So where is it? We think we can figure it out.

Here are some suggestions for where the referee could look:

-In the couch cushions

-Under the bed

-In the garage

-In the attic

Following a dust-up in the tunnel after the Manchester derby, the Internet is rife with speculation as to what actually happened. 

Were Manchester City really celebrating that loudly? Did Jose Mourinho actually get milk thrown on him? What in the world happened to Mikel Arteta's eye? These are all questions that we have. Questions that demand answers. Especially the milk one. That's just hilarious.

One of these days, The18.com will run out of content, because one of these days, sculptors will stop creating horrible statues of

Jack Wilshere went ice skating last week and it was a news event.

Wilshere posted a picture on Instagram of him and his family ice skating, remarking that he managed to avoid injury. Jack Wilshere has a reputation for being injury prone and is at least a little self-aware.

What is the proper amount of celebrating to do after one wins the MLS Cup? I, personally, have never won the MLS Cup and as such cannot be considered much of an expert. Jozy Altidore, though, just won the MLS Cup on Saturday, scoring the first of Toronto FC's two goals against the Seattle Sounders. Jozy is a much more credible expert in terms of celebrating MLS Cup victories.

So, Jozy, how much celebrating should someone do if they win the MLS Cup?

If you win five Ballon d'Ors in your career, you get to customize the outside of an airplane with your various logos. I don't make the rules (yes I do, I make them up and then blog about them in hopes that you, the reader, will click and help keep me from having to get a real job).

Anyway, Cristiano Ronaldo won his fifth Ballon d'Or earlier this week, and celebrated by either getting on or getting off of an airplane adorned with his various logos. It was all very luxurious.

When 2016 ended, many Americans wondered how a year could get any worse. Then 2017 said, “Hold my beer.” The depressing U.S. soccer season will officially conclude with the MLS Cup final between the Seattle Sounders and Toronto FC on Saturday at BMO Field and it can’t come soon enough.

Let me first get this out of the way: To every outlet that live tweeted every single moment of the World Cup draw, STFU — you’re wasting precious Twitter space. Second, can we take a moment to make fun of everyone who made absurd overreactions during the World Cup draw?

Twitter by nature is a platform that encourages instant, raw reaction often at the expense of thoughtful dialogue. So let's give some raw reactions to Twitter's World Cup draw reactions.