Humor

Sunday’s 1-1 draw between Newcastle United and Crystal Palace at Selhurst Park kept both teams rooted in the Premier League’s 10-team relegation scrap, and perhaps that was the motivation for this pitch invader’s attempt to literally drown his sorrows on the field. 

The man’s antics included pouring beer all over his face, going on a short jog before getting absolutely truck-sticked by a vigilant steward and then offering a flurry of wanker gestures and Bronx salutes while being escorted from the ground. What a day out.

Raheem Sterling is currently enjoying his best season as a professional, having already scored more goals this year (19) than any season in his career. Despite the 23-year-old’s breakout success, which includes 14 goals in 22 Premier League appearances, one question remains — one that anyone who has seen Raheem Sterling running has asked. What the hell is he doing with his arms?

Well, we finally have an answer, and it has to do with his mom. 

According to radio journalist Rocco Steinhauser, an animated film collaboration between Pixar and Barcelona could soon be in the works.

Tragedy struck earlier this week when everyone’s favorite basketball halftime entertainment — a unicycle-riding, plate-balancing, bowl-juggling acrobat who goes by Red Panda — lost her custom-built, 7-foot unicycle. Someone took the luggage containing the Red Panda unicycle at the San Francisco airport baggage claim. That someone looks like Graham Zusi.

PRESS PLAY AND LET IT RUN

In the 60th minute of Arsenal vs. Swansea City, with the score knotted at 1-1, Henrikh Mkhitaryan strode onto the field for his first action as an Arsenal player. Apparently, Arsenal goalkeeper Petr Cech was so enthralled by Mkhitaryan's grand entrance that he forgot to pay attention to the soccer game he was playing in.

oh petr no.....  pic.twitter.com/mDlZpuavht

There was something we overlooked, fellow Newcastle United supporters. While we were busy putting all our eggs in the Amanda Staveley basket, we failed to realize that we are now entering a halcyon phase in our club’s history without the help of a petroleum-infused war chest. New boy Kenedy, freshly arrived from Chelsea on loan, has brought to our attention the catalyst of the Tyneside Renaissance: the Goal! The Dream Begins film.

Major League Soccer is finally coming back to Miami, made official by Monday’s announcement by the league and some fellow named David Beckham. But we still don’t know the new Miami MLS team name. 

Here are some potential names we hope Becks seriously considers for his new team when it launches in a couple years.