Roberto Firmino will pull your pants down, pull them back up and then pull them back down again and laugh at you.
Roberto #Firmino just scored a no-look goal for Liverpool vs Sevilla. He has just unlocked a new level of disrespect pic.twitter.com/C3sqPNCoBw
— Phil Coutinho (@LfcNo10) November 21, 2017
On Wednesday, New Zealand capitulated in their quest for the World Cup, losing 2-0 to Peru after a scoreless first leg. Peru, obviously was ecstatic, declaring the following day a national holiday. New Zealand, on the other hand, has taken the loss pretty hard, if this alarming item from the New Zealand Herald is any indication:
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mambo number five.
BREAKING MASSIVE NEWS | So... you wanted Mambo No.5? Well we're giving you Mambo No.5.
— Ebbsfleet United FC (@EUFCofficial) November 16, 2017
Surely you have seen the news by now. Everyone who's anyone has seen the news: Blake Shelton has been named "Sexiest Man Alive" by People Magazine. Many people have rightly noted that Shelton is and was a stupid choice, and I am here to offer up an alternative: Liverpool goalkeeper Loris Karius.
Everyone ages. Aging is a necessary consequence of being alive, and should be accepted. That said, entire industries are propped up by folks looking to avoid aging. Footballers, with their combination of being rich, in the public eye all the time and having so many people fawn over them they inevitably become vain, are some of the most common indulgers in these industries.
Neither Burkina Faso nor Cape Verde Islands had a chance of qualifying for Russia 2018 after Senegal wrapped up their group earlier this international break, so their World Cup qualifier Tuesday was really more of a glorified friendly. That's a good thing for Cape Verde's goalkeeper, who produced a pretty interesting howler in first half extra time to give Burkina Faso their first of four goals.