Sepp Blatter and Michel Platini were both given eight-year bans from all soccer activity today by the FIFA Ethics Committee. After the bans were announced, Sepp Blatter put on a little press conference in which he said some outlandish things and then said some even more outlandish things. What follows is a "greatest hits" of Blatter's press-conference quotes (via AP reporter Rob Harris). They were a delight.
Sepp came out swinging.
Blatter highlights how he's sitting in room where Mandela where when won 2010 World Cup bid (which has payment subject to allegations)
— Rob Harris (@RobHarris) December 21, 2015
And then he swung even more, by saying that people were swinging at him unfairly.
Blatter; "I am really sorry. I am sorry that I am still somewhere a punching ball. I'm sorry as president of FIFA I'm this punching ball"
— Rob Harris (@RobHarris) December 21, 2015
Given that Sepp is not a native English speaker, we will forgive his use of "punching ball" instead of "punching bag" here. But, if there were ever a punching ball that really needed to be punched, that punching ball would be Sepp Blatter.
Blatter on 8-year ban "This decision has put a new tsunami inside FIFA ... it has created a lot of collateral danger"
— Rob Harris (@RobHarris) December 21, 2015
Somewhere John Grisham is furiously tyoing the first chapter of his explosive new legal thriller, "Collateral Danger."
Blatter: "I am fighting not for me, but as the elected president of FIFA ... and they have cut me off ... I need my rights to be restored"
— Rob Harris (@RobHarris) December 21, 2015
He's not fighting for him. He's fighting for his rights to be restored. Totally different.
Blatter: "I believe in God and I believe in the law" says he still wants to preside over FIFA congress in February when successor elected
— Rob Harris (@RobHarris) December 21, 2015
Yeah good luck with that.
Blatter: "To suspend the fifa president and forbid him from going into a football stadium ... this is wrong"
— Rob Harris (@RobHarris) December 21, 2015
Nah.
Blatter: "I will fight and I will fight until the end"
— Rob Harris (@RobHarris) December 21, 2015
It already is the end, Sepp.
Blatter: "I am still here thanks to my good heart. And I have never lost my mind ... I am back and I am doing better"
— Rob Harris (@RobHarris) December 21, 2015
By "good" we assume he means "still beating."
Here's a wrap-up of the whole thing.
Key quotes from Sepp Blatter in hour-long news conference after receiving 8-year FIFA ban: pic.twitter.com/OkXKgG8Kn4
— Rob Harris (@RobHarris) December 21, 2015
See you in (at minimum) eight years, Sepp.
Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at Klomhaus@The18.com or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus