Videos

Watch this video of a dog running onto the field during a professional game in Chile.

But first, read our scouting report on the dog.

The dog is deceptively fast with great movement and does a nice job finding pockets of space in between defenders. The dog seems to find itself in the right places at the right times. The dog has good vision and moves very well without the ball. Essentially, what we're dealing with here is the Thomas Muller of dogs.

Now watch the video.

Alan Gordon has a reputation for goals falling into his lap, but this is ridiculous. 

Miskick + nutmeg = goalkeeper nightmare. LA Galaxy up 2-0 on Comunicaciones on FS2. #SCCL #MLS http://t.co/WrTz2w4iwW

— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) August 19, 2015

When we were 12 years old, we were just satisfied with putting the ball in the back of the net, no matter how it happened. Honestly, we were six years away from playing soccer like bees play tag. In the rare instance that one of us scored something that took any amount of skill, we we’re f***ing pumped.

Sometimes you just gotta take it and run, whatever “it” may be, and that is what Michail Antonio did when he picked up the ball around midfield against Walsall. Only, instead of, you know, making himself look like a douche by running past one defender only to get shut down by the next, he went all the way and scored an absolutely brilliant goal. 

A moment of real inspiration is hard to come by. The factors that go into making your mind light up and burn with the energy of a new idea or realization are so enigmatic that people spend their entire lives searching for them; the driving thought being that eternal success has at its heart the ability to be constantly inspired. This chase is as present in soccer as it is in any other vocation. 

We did not know that under the current laws of physics this goal was even possible. But it is. We've seen the video. And now you have too (or you will once you're done with the article). 

This happened in the German third division, which is not a place where we normally go to find potential goals of the year. And yet here it is, in all its glory. A front-flipping scorpion kick. Zlatan Ibrahimovic hasn't even done this (yet). 

Carli Lloyd's pitch was high and wide, but that is a trifling complaint. At least she did better than poor Gio dos Santos. Lloyd threw out the first pitch for the Seattle Mariners while she and her Houston Dash teammates were in town for a game against the Seattle Reign (which the Reign won, 2-1). 

Generally, in journalism, when you find a story the proper thing to do is to dig deeper and acquire as much information as possible about causes, effects, etc. before releasing it to the public. We are going to break journalistic tradition here, though, because we do not even want to know what horrible thing happened to Javier Martos that necessitated him receiving this treatment during a game.

Giovani dos Santos is not good at throwing baseballs. This is demonstrated by his attempt at throwing out the first pitch at a recent Los Angeles Dodgers game. 

.@OficialGio. He's really good at soccer. pic.twitter.com/ZHe5ogdxA4

— Los Angeles Dodgers (@Dodgers) August 11, 2015

Zlatan Ibrahimovic would like for you to buy his perfume. Zlatan Ibrahimovic made a commercial in order to persuade you to buy his perfume.

But, like everything Zlatan does, this is not your average commercial. It's not quite as insane as this commercial, but it does feature a #ZlatanFish.