Humor

Notts County scores. Darkness falls and magic stirs as Matt Tootle becomes a creature of the night — a nightcrawler! But it looks like it’s time for an intervention with the rest of his teammates, because they just don’t look interested in joining Tootle for a quick game.

Nightcrawlers is just what it sounds like, it’s a game where you crawl around like worms in the night, mining minerals under the bed while using your imagination. Tootle clearly knows what’s up. 

Can the Wenger-O-Meter do it on a cold Monday night at Stoke? Arsenal certainly couldn't take care of business there on Saturday. The Gunners failed to win a penalty despite several shouts, and were beaten 1-0 by the Potters despite being the more aggressive side.

So there were positives! There usually are, but the fact remains that Arsenal lost to Stoke, swinging the Wenger-O-Meter from the "IN" position dangerously toward the "OUT" position.

I have already discussed the notion that Chelsea manager Antonio Conte is a hit man, and soon the whole world might get the proof it needs to accept this idea.

Here's Conte when asked about striker Diego Costa, who is currently pining as hard as he can for a move to Atletico Madrid, so much so that instead of flying from Brazil to Chelsea to report for training like he was told, he got on a plane to Madrid instead.

All footballers aspire to see their likeness in the FIFA videogame. The best aspire to be on the cover of FIFA. The Zlatan aspires to make his own damn game. 

Zlatan Legends, developed by Isbit Games, was released Thursday on the Apple App Store worldwide to critical acclaim — well, acclaim. Created in the likeness of legendary Swede Zlatan Ibrahimovic, the game has you kick a ball around a course as fast as you can. 

Essentially it’s a soccer/racing game/endless runner hybrid with an intergalactic space milieu. If that’s not Zlatan, I don’t know what is. 

Before Pep Guardiola came down from the mountaintop proclaiming the new age of the 4-3-3 with attacking width providing by the wide defenders, nobody knew what a full back was. Sure, Roberto Carlos once struck a football so hard that we all admitted their existence, but that was all anyone knew about the position. What did they do? Why were they there? It was hard to know and even harder to explain.

Manchester United have reportedly offered Zlatan Ibrahimovic a contract to play for them when he's done rehabilitating the knee injury he suffered at the end of last season, with an eye toward a transition to a coaching role.