True greatness knows no boundaries. It cannot be confined to the lines of a soccer field. It can appear anywhere: in a Rio de Janeiro favela, a dusty African village or an elite European academy.
OR, on a boat, anchored somewhere idyllic, surrounded by other boats. Francesco Totti graced the pitch professionally for more than 20 years and, now retired, needs an outlet for his incredible passing skills. Thus, boats.
Liverpool are horrible at defending set pieces. I don’t have any facts or figures to back up that statement, but every commentator says the same thing and I don’t see them pointing to any evidence. It’s just accepted that, like every other team on the planet, they cannot defend a great set piece.
Touching is good. It’s a display of endearment, a bonding behavior, an affectionate act.
Touching is bad. It’s a display of aggression, a divisive behavior, a violent act.
Contrary to popular belief, referees are people too. They like good touch. They don’t like bad touch. On Sunday, Cristiano Ronaldo did a bad touch. The referee didn’t like it. Ronaldo is suspended five matches.
Portland Timbers fans will be crushed to hear that the hipster-est football hipster in the known universe has been discovered, and he wasn't found at Providence Park.
Rather, the most hipster man in football was spotted at Estadio Corona on Sunday at Santos Laguna's clash with Veracruz. Bask in this man's ironic glory:
Cristiano Ronaldo is an incredible footballer, blessed with size, speed, strength, foot skiils and awareness that would be the envy of pretty much anyone. Luis Suarez is also blessed in all these categories, just not as much as Ronaldo.
There is one skill, though, in which Ronaldo will never match Suarez's unbelievable talent: acting.
Ronaldo and Suarez each attempted dives during Sunday's Spanish Super Copa first leg. Suarez won a penalty (which Lionel Messi converted), but Ronaldo was given his second yellow card and dismissed from the match.
So what went wrong?
In between bashing the American president and delving into the North Korea problem, late night host John Oliver presented a segment that was actually useful to Americans on his Last Week Tonight program Sunday night. The HBO show illustrated how Univision Deportes announcer Luis Omar Tapia makes everything more exciting — robot soccer included.
This weekend, Barcelona began their season with a 3-1 steamrolling at the hands of Real Madrid. The first goal came at the hands of Barcelona center back Gerard Pique, who hates Real Madrid with the fiery white-hot passion of a thousand suns and was none too pleased about putting the ball into his own net so Madrid didn't have to.
To accentuate Pique's sadness, some intrepid Internet person set Pique's Blunder to the saddest song in popular culture, courtesy of Celine Dion.
Friday was the deadline for FIFA to accept bids to host the 2026 World Cup, the first to be awarded since scandal rocked the organization following Russia and Qatar controversially winning the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, respectively. The U.S. had already turned in a joint bid with Mexico and Canada that’s expected to win easily, but at the last minute Morocco decided to throw its hat into the ring.
Inarguably, the biggest story in footy is whether Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger definitely should be or definitely should not be manager of Arsenal. Last year was a roller coaster of emotions that ended with the Frenchman missing the Champions League for the first time since Christ was a boy, winning the FA Cup (again) and signing a two-year contract extension.
82 days have passed since we put a lid on the 2016-17 Premier League season, but now it’s time to do it all over again. We’ll be treated to the same storylines we’ve all come to know and love (Arsenal in crisis, Newcastle United on the verge of self-inflicted implosion, Manchester City spend a lot of money), but we’ve also been provided with some fresh takes to look forward to.