This Norwegian Man Wants The Sperm Of Cristiano Ronaldo And Zlatan

We're going to be honest, we think this might be fake. It just seems staged to us. Just a feeling we have.

It's still pretty funny though, so whatever. Someone get this man some sperm.

Serious question: how will he know he's actually getting the sperm of a superstar footballer? What if he's just getting sperm from some random dude? 

I suppose that's not his greatest worry right now, but it's something to think about.

(H/T The Goalmouth)

The Latest FIFA 17 Glitches Make For Delightful Nightmares

GameSprout have released a “FIFA 17 FAIL Compilation” through their YouTube channel and it’s equal parts hilarious and terrifying. Whether its some not-so-subtle physical innuendo between the players, some terrifying bodily mishaps and transformations or the rendering of objects where they’re not supposed to be, the release of FIFA 17 has provided us with some fascinating in-game moments.

They Built A Nine-Man Wall. He Charged And Destroyed It Like A Madman

35-year-old Benfica captain Luisao gave his younger teammates an invaluable lesson when it comes to asserting yourself in their match against Feirense on Sunday. With the ball in an extremely dangerous free kick position, Feirense created a five-man wall that gradually increased as Benfica players attempted to disrupt it.

Watch This Goalie Score From A Punt In The Most Agonizing Way Possible

This poor kid from North Korea experiences enough tragedy and woe and heartbreak in this 42-second video to fill a Russian novel. Let's trace his journey.

First, the goalie appears. Then the ball appears. The ball is nowhere near the goalie. This confuses him and he starts running for the ball. But then he hesitates. Is this really what he wants? To get the ball? Or is it already too late. No, he decides. It's not too late. Besides, Kim Jong Un will probably be mad at me if I don't try hard, he reasons. You know how Kim Jon Un gets.